Saturday, September 30, 2006
2:15 AM
Sigh.*
Dedicated to the special 18....:
I fuckin do not look up to cowards who do not wanna open up and speak their mind. Talks about suicides and all. BAh. WAT SHIT IS TAT. And yes, if I do remember, he was the same one who told me suicidal thoughts are stupid. Depressed? Like wat, fuckin 18 and depressed. I'm not saying that people at the age of 18 won't tend to suffer from depression. No. I asked, what are you fretting about? Why are you so depressed? There are definitely thoughts goin on in your mind which spells "fuck, this is making me depressed". But the fact is, you can't tell me what is causing you those sleepless nights,etc...You told me you cant stop thinking because you cant sleep. RUBBISH. You've family problems? R/s problems? The whole list can go on....Blame it on those problems you tink are causing you the depression. Yes, not ALL problems can be solved. But dying will fucking NOT SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS.
You wanted to go for a movie, and within like a few minutes, you tell me you've no mood le.
-.- Sigh. What's wrong. I know those things I've said in the conversation may be crude. I'm sorry if it was offensive. But, you're a close friend. And I AM WORRIED. Friends do not say "nice things" to make you feel better. Yes, it's easy to say and tell you not to think too much, but it's difficult for you to do so. Go on being the way you are now if you wanna continue feeling miserable. For sure, death won't solve all problems. Yes, to you, death is a form of relief for your depression. If you wanna think this way, continue bein the so called "selfish bitch" you think you are. You'll only make the people you love miserable. YOU SAY YOU LOVE THEM, BUT NOW, YOU'RE HURTING THEM WITH YOUR ACTIONS AND EVERYTHING ELSE YOU WANNA DO (like die?). Heh. Love them? Fuck that. You tell me you love yourself. Fuck that too. For sure, there're people in the world who loves you(sounds familiar?), but you don't appreciate their love for you by being like that now.
I do not wanna go on and on about how friends and family want you to speak your mind so they can "share your burden" kinda thing. Think about what i've said to you. If you wanna continue being like that, nobody can stop you. You're the ruler of YOUR LIFE. YOU DECIDE LIFE THE WAY YOU WANT IT TO BE. Not the other way round. Don't blame things for happening. Like i always love to emphasize, things happen for a reason.
If you have nobody to talk to, my words holds still holds true. I'm here if you need it. I'm not NICE anymore if you still think i am.So I will swear i will shake the hell outta ya if you talk to me and continue being the way you are. I leave the decision to you. I may not be the person you need. There are other people who may be in a better position and whom you feel better spendin time with or confiding in to make you feel better. Keep in mind, don't be silly. These moments you're going through will tide over. You're like fucking 18. So don't let the rest of your life go to waste.
If you don't know, we do care. And I'm darn worried.
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Urgh. I'm having a headache. Funny. Mum and Dad quarrelled and made up by going for a movie. How nice. I wanna watch movies!!! =(
[Wei li!!! BABA!!!!! =X]
[I'm not the one you assume you know]
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
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