;i keep up with a fake smile.Do you ever notice?



I FAKE A SMILE ALL THIS WHILE

DID YOU EVER REALISE?

It's me.So what?
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*Rena Heng
*aka Tiny,Nana
*17*
*30/5/89*
*TP,Hospitality and Tourism*
*PRSS,QNPS*

Her world revolves around...
*her friends
*family
*you
*her lovelies =3
*clubs
*drinking
*shopping
*bitching
*freedom

BEWARE,SHE SNAPS
I'm not who you think i really am. Don't like reading wat's here? Buzz off. =)
DO NOT JUDGE ME,period.

HER WANTS
*New navel stud*
*plain bikini*
*Waist belt*
*A pair of flats*
*Grey/white off shoulder*
*tan*
*Vintage dress*
*New phone*


THE ONES

Abigail
Adler
Arjuna
Audrina
Alpharian
Alvin
Boon Ern
Daphne
Daryl
Dixon
de-bonbons
Eugene
Genevieve
Hailing
Hakim
Hidayu
Hisa
Idy
Jacquelin
Jeslyn
Jingxuan
Justin
Jie Hui
Karen
Kok Sheng
Letitia
Pauline
Quan Zhang
Qiao
Royston
Stephanie
Shihan
Siok Wen
Sihan
Wei Li
Wei Jie
Weslie
Xiuqing
Yi ting
Yiwen
Yu Heng
Zhiyi
Zhu Xiaoming
Ziying
CUT THE CRAP

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TUCKED AWAY

Friday, April 29, 2005

9:20 PM

Had fitness test today.Right..my standing broad jump sucked. =( Man...my thigh hurts loads now...Urgh~ OuCh..feels lyk tons of weight is placed on top of mua thigh. Yikex. Partnered with Shiqi...wahahax. It was great fun overall, except the thigh part...=p 2.4's after mid yr...aw manx.Waste my time...

Tmr's speech day...Suprised at myself...Not really lookin forward to it newae...Bah...the school spent extravagantly on this year's speech day...Well, it's an every year issue...but this year is especially grand...No idea why is this so newae. All the tentages, art pieces, deco are lyk, "wow"~~. They even repainted some of the places in the school. Wahah. For ONCE the school looks clean...=x But i mean, the stupid thing is, why is the event held in the carpark area,new foyer and canteen? Weird ya noe! Imagine halfway through the performance, a motorbike suddenly zooms pass the road outside and "vRrRoOoMmmm"...hehe. BWG...teehee. And guess what, CO is performing in the canteen...Wah..Sian 1/2....
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Thursday, April 28, 2005

9:17 PM

*Stretch~~* Whew~had Speech Day rehearsal today...Wahh, they made us sit there at 4 plus till 6 plus in the canteen~ Darn~it was totally humid these few days...Made me perspire buckets. It was a waste of time sitting der staring at the canteen ceiling waiting for our turn during the rehearsal. Man..could've used the waiting time to do something else manx...lyk..study chinese? Used the time to form our own "small orchestras" in a group of 6 and played some tunes instead..~LalalalaLa~Opps*~and even saw a couple in canteen qing qing wo wo de~ so dan da bao tian manx! Sho many ppl and teachers around leh!Haha...well...mebbe, i'm not dat hardworkin. Am i? =x Anyway, it felt nice to be back in CO again. Stepping down from CO after Speech Day le...Sobx..will miss this big family!

*Evil laugh~*MuaHahAhA~! Mrs Chua was on MC today~~and so was Mdm Mariamah~Wahahahha! Had plenty of free periods tmr~ Weehee... But all was done for mua revision~ pengx. Dead worned out now~tata~
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Tuesday, April 26, 2005

8:23 PM

waah, damn sick of this blogskin lex...Been lookin at some of mua friends' blogs...Wahh..dey keep changin blogskins de....wonder where they got the time from manx. I've been trying to squeeze all the stuff i need to do into the 12 hr working period per day le budden still not enuff time to finish mua stuff. Goodness mie~~ Where has mua time been wasted on??!!

Great~was given a black face by dat someone early in the morning when mua classmates stepped into class. Damn...ruined my day. Ever since she got attached, things turned for the worse. AaRgh. Hell...had headache the whole day~ I worked lyk a slug today...Slow...Slow...Slow...Aw manx! Dead lethargic~ no idea what's cumin over me... I've been yawning away since morn~ Gotta slp early laterx!

Tata~ I'm back to work!!! Ciao~
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Sunday, April 24, 2005

6:28 PM

It's sunday...Aw manx! Mua weekends are gone jus lyk dat~ Well, as the saying goes, "time waits for no man"...

Yesterday's shopping spree wasn't a "success"...hahahx, but managed to get my heels afterall...Wahaha,can be another inch "taller" lex. =p hehex. Orchard area is getting boring...dunno why...Well, just seems that the Shopping centres in Singapore are all of the same kind. They have the same shops in almost all of the shopping centres. Urgh...something different sumbody?

Right...isit so easy to fall in love. Yes i mean, literally FALL IN LURV. Made an observation...All those who swear not to have a relationship, claim that they're too immature to be attached, promise themselves to keep clear of all "promisin guys" always, okok, most of the time, always find themselves getting hitched again soon after a broken relationship. Hmmx, they contradict themselves? Yea...i tink so too. So well, guys and girls out there, don't promise yourself something you know you won keep alright? Well, i mean, truthfully, who won't wanna look for another promising chap or babe that treats you right? You won't be able to survive the temptation of sweet nothings then i suppose....

Dear is sick... must get well soon! huGx. *wink*

Tata~
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Saturday, April 23, 2005

11:56 AM

Wootsie~went to sakae wif stephy,xinning and yiwen yesterday for buffet~Wahahax..We were practically gluttons yesterday. Would be shocked if you had seen how much we ate~ Tons! Weehee~ Well, yea, practically was able to crack jokes outta anything yesterday at sakae. Bet other customers tot we were siao zhaborx~=p Met lester, dominic,jessica and her bro der too. Was a "surprise" to see em there. And yea, dominic still owes me one bar of choco. Went shoppin after dat and bought a shirt from 77th street~Waah!Spunky~I lyk~=x...Total broke liaox ah.

Heex, not forgetting the trip to Century Square's level 2 toilet. Muahahx. We were sho fascinated bout how the toilet was built and decorated. Mirrors everywhere and not forgetting the pretty dressin tables where ladies can sit at and put on make up and stuff. Waah~~can be compared to the toilets in hotels liaox...=D Great "zi lian" spot.

hmmx, guess dat's all for now...Post the second part of today's blog entry laterx! Goin to heeren wif dear! Whahahax. Shoppin again~ =p
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Tuesday, April 19, 2005

6:57 PM

shitty. Mid-yr is like oni 2 weeks from now and O levels Chi is like 1 month away. WTF. I've not started much on mua studying and guess what? I didn't know how i spent my time dis few days. Bloody~ Lost focus on everything...haiz. Guess mua mood was more or less affected by unhappy issues during the past few days. Hope things would be fine from now onwards. I don't wanna risk flunkin all mua exams ya noe? Yea. Got total horrendous results for mua Math test. Hell. Half mark to a pass. Damn me. Everything was a blank when i saw the paper. Not that i couldn't do, or i didn't understand. It's just that everything seemed a total blur to me when i saw the paper. Argh. Damn you Rena. Right. Phew~ Gonna start on mua Chi today aniwae, kinda late to start now lex...mua frends av almost finished 3/4 of the book and i've not even touched the "B" section. Hah. O yea, that reminds me, my coursework for art is yet to be completed and the deadline is by Thur. CA3 grades. O well..Rena, you're dead meat...

Hmmx. Took a cab home today. Didn't feel like walking. Da driver was nice to talk to...Well, he's divorced and you know...he called his wife a bitch and stuff~but he was a good dad. Calls his daughter everynight, sponsor her for her overseas trips and stuff. Man...he's a taxi driver and he has to pay for his daughter's overseas trips organised by schools, telephone bill which total up to 200 bucks, weekly pocket money of 50 bucks(like wow~), and other expenses. Waah. Tough life he has manx. Cummon, he's only a taxi driver. HOw much can he earn in a month? His daughter better be thankful she's got such a wonderful dad who slogs so hard to raise her up. Life's so hard nowadays i realise, it's like, everyone is trying to survive with that small sum of salary every month and now, with all the increasing taxations and stuff, it makes life even harder. No wonder Mdm Mariamah told us that her friend thinks it's cruel to bring a baby into a world which is so competitive. It's so hard to sustain nowadays, it'll be even harder in the future i guess. Oh well, high birth rate? Hmmx, i don't think so for the time being.
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Sunday, April 17, 2005

12:01 AM

I don't know how shuld i be feelin at this moment in time. Seriously, i'm totally upset. Two are my friends, one is my dear. What am i supposed to do? I'm being sandwiched in between. I've been retyping this entry over and over again thinking how to phrase my tots.

I'm too magnanimous? To don't even mind when girls say a "miss you" to him. I don't know, but hey, I'm a girl too you know. I need a sense of security. HOw am i going to cope with my life now? I got a sucky family, and now, this happens. How the hell am i gonna continue with my life? Pretend nothing has happened? No, this would cause more problems to resurface. I need moral support but who's gonna give it to me now? I'm trying hard to keep my emotions in control. No one is there for me this time around. I guess i've to cope by myself.

All i need is for you to think about how i would feel. Will all of you jus spare a fucking tot for my feelings? You guys wanna continue going against one another and make mi feel fucking worse? If all of you can bear that, go ahead. I'll forever be here to put up with all these nonsense. But i won't know when i'll do something crazy, because i find playing with the penknife pretty amusing now...or maybe i won bother looking out for cars anymore?It'll be fun to see mi fly. Wham Bam and Wee~~i can fly. Thud. Wow. HOw exciting eh? By then there'll be nothing for all of you to be upset over because the main source of the problem is gone? Right??? Mebbe i shall do just that. I'll choose the one that won't hurt that much. I've got NO FUCKING CHOICE. I jus wanna put a stop to all these nonsense for it's really driving me up against the wall. YOu don't understand and you will nver know what i'm going thru. NONE OF YOU WILL.

I know steph is jus feeling that all this really does injustice to weijian. And i know she's concerned bout me. But sometimes, things are made worse when the conflict goes on...and on...None of you will feel more hurt than me. I jus hope this whole fucking incident blows over. I don't wanna lose my dear, i don't wanna lose my friends. I know things won't be the same anymore. But i jus hope they don't ever cross borders with each other to prevent another conflict. Stop tormenting me. PLEASE. I've had enough. I jus wanna go back to the good old days. No quarrels, no nothing. It doesn't matter if they dont communicate, I'll be more than glad if they don't even talk to each other and i can get out of this tug of war. I'M BEGGIN.I'VE HAD ENUFF.

Family. Yea, right. Think i have someone to fall back onto at home? YOu got it wrong. Yea, i have, but it's not human. I pity my pillow. It's always wet cos of my crying. I cry myself to sleep very often but does anyone noes? NO. Saying i didn't sleep well is jus an excuse when i'm spotted with my eye swollen. Well, it's not noticable anyway.

I want my friends back, I want my dear back. Lastly, I want my old self back. Is that too much to ask for?
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Friday, April 15, 2005

9:26 PM

Right...i'm drained outta all of mua energy~It's been real tiring these days having to stay back all day for remedials and stuff~ But wotta do? That's sec 4 life i guess...Have been pretty left alone bahx...It's like, wake up, go to school...lessons and more lessons...home...homework...sleep. I feel like i'm breakin down soon...All the stress from teachers is indeed killing me...Awaiting for the day we'll step down from council and CO~WAahahah. Gonna wash mua hands off everything then.

Been rushing thru mua art these few days..mum hasn't been happy with mie for staying back to do art..Bloody. Say i lie to her today go TM walk walk. Kaox~ I after before PE and after PE also in school doin art lor! WTH. Keep saying i'm lying to her when i'm not. She don't trust mi at all lor! WAs so upset i cried buckets. I mean, cummon, imagine...You have been in school doin your coursework faithfully,till sho tired liaox and your parent accuses you of being an ah lian of some sort always roaming round in shopping centres. This sucks. It was till i called Siok to 'reconfirm' with mua mum that i was in school then she nver kp dat much. She anyhow accuse me still wanna scold me. Bloody shit! What kinda mum she is man?! A while so good to me, den the next moment scream and shout. Wa kaox. I'm totally pissed lo. Sighx. Don't have much ppl to turn to now bahx...even mua mum also dun trust her own daughter. Wanna talk to someone also difficult. AaaArgh. Shit la. I'm tired, really....
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Monday, April 11, 2005

5:41 PM

Haven blogged since thur...mished mi??Lolzie~ Life has been buzzing with activities these days~Days jus seemed to have passed by sho quickly. Isit jus me or isit that the earth is revolving faster??wahahax. *spin spin*

Went for med checkup during the weekends...Hmmx..check backbone and check whether my ping xue condition is deterioratin. Goodie news...no changes. Have to go bac in a year's time...Lazy. Mebbe i'll jus skip it newae. -.-

Bahx. No mood on Sat~ went out with dear. Total irritated dat day. Dunno y. Went to Marina to watch "The Pacifier". Great show...action-packed comedy...Wahahx...Wanna know more bout the movie? Go check out dear's blog bahx. Lazy to comment. =p Woohoo~Goodie news~Shopping centre at Marina is under renovation...*wAhAhA* More shops! Cool~More places for mua shoppin sprees~Weehee! YOu make mi wanna lala..la..la~ (hums)

Eastpoint's bloody super duper boring~~~~Accompanied dear play pool on Sun wif friends. WAhsEh. Interesting to watch em play but that place suck.

U fuggin bitch. Hatecha~Dont underestimate my capabilities ya hear? Try to put mie down in front of teachers? Ha. Ya gotta try harder next time...wAtch ur freakin attitude missy! I'm not lyk u. A coward who'll talk behind ppl's back. Back off u cow! Moo~~~moO~~You spoil the impression of "drinking milk is good for health" =x U know u suck dunchya?Oh. In case you don't, i've reminded you. =D

------
OmFg~Wondered wot was da commotion bout in class todae after mua extra 10min reccess. 2 mp3 players missin,1 handphone,2 calculators gone from mua class. In total, 4 mp3 players,3 handphones,3 calculators missin from the whole level. WTH!? Some bastards/bitches av stolen em while we were havin recess. Stupid thieves! Lotsa cryin in class todae cos of da missing items. Well. taught peepx a lesson. Don't leave valuables in class lest they get missin!!!

Goodness gracious mi~ Realised i'm spouting more and more vulgarities. *ziP* Nonono...now i know y dear can't kick the habit. -no restrictions now- oki? =p

I wan photoshop!!!Yiting rmb to bring!!!! (begs)
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Thursday, April 07, 2005

8:19 PM

Read dear's blog...entry on the 6/4. Sighx. I really donno wot's happening between him and his friends. Their friendship is drifting apart. Hope it isn't because of me...Well. Admit la...used to be always a lil unhappy when he went out with his friends too often. Hey. It is a "USED TO". But...i wasn't against them goin out together or wot lor...They didn't like me taggin along either i suppose...Say they very dian deng pao.Bah~
Dear is saddened i tink...Listen to his kou qi when talkin bout his friends jiu zhi dao~Hainx. Kinda guilty bout how i used to throw lil tantrums last time when he often went out with his friends and left me alone at home. But hey...I haven been doin that since the last few months ok. Tot it over a few months ago to myself...He needs his freedom, i need mine too. So when i go out often with my friends, it's my own right and it's his right when he wants to spend more time with his friends! =D Well, but now...things are turning out this way...ehh...i really dunno wot to say lorx...I mean...cummon lorx...at this age and they're still playin, "don't friend him ah!Don't call him out le..." erpx...-.- Sometimes when i see his friends, i really feel lyk telling them off lorx... Hainx. They should really go think about their attitude bahx...Have been friends for so long le den suddenly give attitude. AP kias lor. I totally BWG...Sighx..dont sadx le k dear? Ya gotta talk to em~~ASk what ya wanna noe...And if they're so childish. Well. You deserve better friends.

Well...friendship...love...which would u choose? I don't believe in saying that if you're in a relationship, u'll have to sacrifice ya buddies or vice versa..It's total crap. All these are part of life manx...Too busy to keep in contact with friends? That's crap too. Time is planned by YOU. One of your good buddies is in a relationship, doubt he/she wants your company...let's not ask him out anymore..that's a total WRONG conception. So guys...if you happen to read mua blog entry....Think over wot i've said manx. YOu don't treat a buddy like he's some spare tyre or somethin ya noe? Be mature. C'mon. GROW UP and stop acting like a 3 yr old kiddy. GROW UP BRUDDER!!
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Tuesday, April 05, 2005

10:19 PM

Wootsie! Muahahahx...DBS..Damn Bloody Stupid/Silly/Stingy~ Wahaha. Ms Lye teach de!!!AVA was in a state of pandemonium today~ Well, dat's what will happen all the time when we have our accounting lessons. Nobody will really pay attention... Ms Lye's too lenient...and ha! Guess wht, she's in the Discipline committee in the school but cannot keep her class disciplined during lessons...kinda 'erpx' rite? Bahx. Keep tokin bout crappy stuff during lessons too...Well, dat's how the "DBS" thingy came about...=D

Had English lessons today after school~Waah...class split half. T.T My half was taught by Ms Serene Siew...She's so cool! Love her spunk. Wahahax...Well, she's a joker. But the joke wouldn't be complete without our well known clown in class...Don't doubt. It's Stephen and his "Singlish + Chinese + A lil act ang moh" accent. It never fails to make us laff~Wahahahahhahax...*rolls on the floor* Well, at least the topic today was mainly focused on reading the "t-h" in a word...(although we did comprehension today...) No link??Well, i tink sho too...newae...it was great fun! Finally Eng lessons aren't as boring as before. *grins*

Muahahhahaz. Several things happened today dat can make mi laff mua headie off! Xiao da bian look at her shou lian and kept "am chio-in". So infatuated with her shou lian...Haiyox! A bit 'off' ya noex? Teehee. But who cares. She's another self-entertainer....Wakakax.

Met up with dear today~ went for lunch...hung out a lil...and went homie lex...(o ya. met mr desmond ng at Pasta Mania...gimme a bloody shock.) *stunned*

Tata~!
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Saturday, April 02, 2005

10:32 PM

Bang! Ouch...hurt my head. Damn shyt. Giddy and had headache the whole day after dat...not exaggerating...Kaox...hurt lyk shyt. Fuck! AARRRRRGGHHHH! Total moody today. Threw tantrums like i've never did..Damn. And nobody cared. WTF. Alone at home till 8pm. Face the four walls. Do hmk. FAce com...Chat. Do hmk..LIsten to music. Do hmk. Msg. Slow reply. Msg. Do hmk. Total low. Say i giddy also no reaction so forget the damn fuckin shyt. Why do i have to be left at home all the fuckin time. Yesterday also left alone. NOBODY cared. Sighx. I'm goin crazzZZiEEEee! Being cooped up at home all the time isn't a nice feeling. Lemme tell u tis. I hate this world. (I'm feeling PMSy~)Ignore me. Phew.

Weibin was out wif friends. Qian's birthday. Happy Birthday to him. I miss teddy terribly.=(
Kept thinking bout the missing ring and kept weeping. Damn me. Nobody's to blame...i'm too careless. Cousin dropped by to gimme flowers. Pink and Red roses...Dunno for what. All of a sudden bring flowers. It was real sweet of him though. Haven seen him for ages. Asked mi why my eyes were swollen. Didn't tell him. Din talk much. He had to meet his girlfriend i tink. Sweet couple~ Mebbe it was his girlfriend who wanted him to pass mi flowers. She used to do that last time...I miss her! Giving the flowers to my mum. She'll love me for that. Sighx. tata...
some hearts are meant to be broken;;