;i keep up with a fake smile.Do you ever notice?



I FAKE A SMILE ALL THIS WHILE

DID YOU EVER REALISE?

It's me.So what?
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*Rena Heng
*aka Tiny,Nana
*17*
*30/5/89*
*TP,Hospitality and Tourism*
*PRSS,QNPS*

Her world revolves around...
*her friends
*family
*you
*her lovelies =3
*clubs
*drinking
*shopping
*bitching
*freedom

BEWARE,SHE SNAPS
I'm not who you think i really am. Don't like reading wat's here? Buzz off. =)
DO NOT JUDGE ME,period.

HER WANTS
*New navel stud*
*plain bikini*
*Waist belt*
*A pair of flats*
*Grey/white off shoulder*
*tan*
*Vintage dress*
*New phone*


THE ONES

Abigail
Adler
Arjuna
Audrina
Alpharian
Alvin
Boon Ern
Daphne
Daryl
Dixon
de-bonbons
Eugene
Genevieve
Hailing
Hakim
Hidayu
Hisa
Idy
Jacquelin
Jeslyn
Jingxuan
Justin
Jie Hui
Karen
Kok Sheng
Letitia
Pauline
Quan Zhang
Qiao
Royston
Stephanie
Shihan
Siok Wen
Sihan
Wei Li
Wei Jie
Weslie
Xiuqing
Yi ting
Yiwen
Yu Heng
Zhiyi
Zhu Xiaoming
Ziying
CUT THE CRAP

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TUCKED AWAY

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

9:11 PM

"Ok class, em. Ok. Understand alpha, beta,gamma rays? Ok. You all know rite, gamma rays cannot pass thru lead. O ya, ya all noe the Superman has 2 weaknesses rite? One is...he cannot see thru things made of lead.Anyone noe another one nort ha?" A silly phy teacher questioned the class, trying to sound lyk some phy lecturer or sumting...(and o yea...tryin to slang when you conduct the lesson will make u sound worse Mr...cos it really isn't music to our ears anyway so please stop degrading urself in front of peepx who can do better than you for ur english.=X)


"Cher!!!I noe!!Another weakness of his is that he must always wear his underwear on the outside...hehe" Hydil exclaimed. (The whole class burst into laughter upon seeing the -.-GrR~ face on the teacher's face. Aw man! That look was a classic. He absolutely looked as if he wanted to hit Hydil straight in the face.)


Well, i guess the main aim of today's phy lesson was to make him lose face newae,so it didn't matter if the joke wasn't farni~! He deserved it for wanting to put our home teacher in front of ppl during sports day...Pui! Let him have a taste of wat we, the sec 4s are lyk before he push his limits. Wahahahha!!!Muahahhahah=X. His teaching experience in Pasir Ris will always leave a footprint in his life...Hehe...


Woot. Today's study camp was tiring...man. It made things worse when History was the first subject of the day. Nearly dozed off in front of da teacher...1.5 hrs straight copying of answers for mid yr paper. Blah...Hand nearly broke. Urgh. Phy was after our break. The teacher nearly made me throw up the dessert i had.Aw gawd. I miss Miss Chia.Art seemed lyk it lasted for 3 hrs though it was only a 1.5 hr session. Chinese was ok...Miss Ho P.P. talked bout our oral which would be held once school reopens...Gawd!Bah...today's subject combination kinda sucked...Hmm...but i'm looking forward to tmr's archery session though!


Read teddy's blog...hmmx...Know he's going thru a rough time...His entry really made me wonder if i hadn't cared enough...Sigh.The messages on his tagboard made me feel even worse...Seemed that my consoles were lyk, of no use lorx...ppl could take their consoles to him budden for me...It seems that they've been casted aside by him or sumthin lorx...Truthfully, i hate knowing what on his mind thru his blog. The feeling sux and i dunno how to describe it.It jus makes me feel dat, although im his girlfriend,i only know things jus lyk what his other friends do...You can say that i'm sensitive or whatever but,put urself in my shoes...am i redundant or sumthin?Am i jus for company's sake? Urgh. The feeling suck big time alrite. I've always wanted him to share his problems with me but it jus couldn't seem to make him pour his heart out to me when he feels down...What's lackin?Is it just me? Is it that whenever he opens up to me,i'll tend to say something to make him feel worse so he doesnt wanna confide in me anymore? I've no idea but i hope that isn't the case...But no matter what is it,teddy i want you to know that I'll always be here for you when you need me okie?Muackx.


Hmmx. Had my b'day cake jus now even though my b'day has passed...Auntie bought it for me. It was a suprise. My family seldom buys cake for celebrations. The most was just a gd dinner. Thank's auntie!!! O yea...and to ALL my friends, thanks for all your presents and well wishes!!!Really appreciated them!!!Hug!!!
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Sunday, May 29, 2005

5:56 PM

Lots of things came to my mind before i started typing this entry. However, it's seems a lil difficult for me to put my tots into words for now~~Hmmx...it's been a few days since i last blogged...Been preparing for the Chinese Os lately...My mind is filled with Chinese proverbs and stuff that ermx...mebbe i have difficulty conveying my tots in English now...Haha. Blah...

Well, Mid-yr results were released last wk~ Not very satisfying though~ I'm disappointed with myself despite having teachers telling me that my results are satisfactory and that i can do better in the next exams~ Hmmx, seriously, my morale has dropped a little manx...Even my mum told me not to give up on myself or else that'll mark the end of everything that i've been striving for the past few years. Mebbe i didn't put in my effort wholeheartedly during the preparation of the examinations and in CAs during the past terms. Quite obviously, my CA results had pulled my grades down drastically. Urgh. Damn. I've no one to blame except for myself...Guess i gotta push myself harder from today onwards! And i hope i'll keep to the promise i made to myself...*prays* I'll pull through!!!=X

Tmr's a special day...yea...VERY SPECIAL at that...It's the first major examination i'm goin to take this year...It's O levels Chinese paper 1&2 for tmr~and at the same time....it's also the day when i'm goin to turn sweet sixteen!!!Yea!!!I can finally watch NC-16 movies legally and go to pool stations legally too!!!Woot! Hehe. Oh well, but the examination stress i'm havin is goin to pull all my excitement down anyway...

Tata for now!!Gambate to everyone who's taking the examinations tmr!!!Like wot Shiqi says, "Do it once and do it well!!!"
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Thursday, May 19, 2005

4:59 PM

I don't wanna close my eyes...I don't wanna fall asleep cus i miss u babe and i don't wanna miss a thing~Cos everytime i dream of you...the sweetest dream i nver knew i jus miss u babe cos i don't wanna miss a thing!!!~~~Whew!!Couldn't get enuff of the singing till now!!!Yesterday was sho much fun!!! Went to Partyworld at Tanjong Pajar with my girl friends and sang the day away~~hahaha...The session was full of "out of tunes" and screeches but who cares!We're all girls and we know we're not good singers...except Siok Wen!!!Muahah. It'll be a waste if she doesn't get herself a singing career in the future! She can really sing and with such ease summore!!! Woohoo!!!Ou xiang!!! Haha, "I don't wanna miss a thing" and yiting's "ting hai" were the classics of the day~~Wootsie!!!Hahaha....Sang loads or rather, screeched loads...hahahah!!!~~wanna go again!!!Perhaps during the hols~~*prances*lalalalala~~mebbe K box will be our next destination~~party world is shoooo farr awaayYy~~Teehee! Man zu man zu man zu!!!=p

Wahahax, uploaded some photos from speech day~~~
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wootsie~!hmmx.*who's dat at the back who's tryin to be funny or isit...im growing rabbit ears????*
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hmmmx,although she's always the one whom i used to dread seeing at CO,she's still a teacher whom i'll always respect and remember!!!Ding lao shi wo men ai ni!!!
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Me,peifen and my nu-er annlyn!!

Aw...i miss em already~~
Guess dat's all for now!Tata~!
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Sunday, May 15, 2005

10:09 PM

Woke up havin aches all over my body, a temperature,and a sniffy nose~Damn. Caught a cold. Must be either due to the weather or that i went to bed with my hair wet last night~ Was practically shivering through the night~Woke up at 12 to find my head spinning lyk crap~Urgh. Terrible feeling. Nobody at home summore! Waliew. Total low...Bah!

Stayed out till 2 am last nite~Went for movie with Miss Ho and teddy at Suntec last nite~Watched "House of Wax"...Weehee, it's been ages sumone tried to sneak mi into an NC-16 movie...Wahahah. Damn dat old lady who didn't allow teddy to buy the tix at first! Talk bout wot government this...government dat.......Bahh....cummon old hag, it's jus lyk 2 weeks before i turn sweet sixteen ain't it?Miss Ho had to book it online instead. Ha! They didn't make an attempt to check upon entry anyway...Lucky mi =D

Well, the movie was ok~~lots of bloody scenes~Urgh~breakin of human heads...seeing Paris Hilton die in the movie~~hahah...but mua fav scene was the one when the house of was was on fire~Effects were quite gd~=D HOwever the ending was kinda abrupt~Storyline was kinda "dead"...

Went for starbucks after dinner at Pasta Mania~Chatted quite a bit~hahahah...The "Mr Goh" issue was a classic! hahahhahahah...Miss Ho wan sui! Her views made me go, *nod,nod,nod,nod* and *yes!yes!oh yea!yalor!!!* hahahah....Thank god he has left school~Phew. Idiotic pigface!
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Friday, May 13, 2005

10:14 PM

Weehee~*New blog layout~Been wanting to change mua blogskin very long ago le...managed to find time today~Wahahahx, took hours to search for a nice one~From 8-now...waddaya tink?It's nothing spectacular though~ Feel this one suits my mood now~~=D lolx...Grey theme~~hmmx... still gotta edit sum parts of this blog~The photo size and stuff and gonna include a blog counter~Hmmx, during weekends or nxt wk maybe~=)

All mua major exam papers are already over~Left with POA mcq, Sci mcq and Chinese listening compre next week. Wahahahha! Can leave sch at 8.45 after all the papers~Goody!!!*Prances* Wootsie! Hmmx, Chi Os comin liaox!!!!WAaah!!~Chiong study words nxt week onwards...left with bout 2 weeks the the exam! Kan chiong sia~ Lalalala~

Went shoppin with Yiwen and Xinning today but Xinning left soon after~ Hmm...bought some stuff~Teehee~a white skirt was one of em~Great buy! Only 14 bucks! Wahahah! Love that skirt~ no zips~all buttons~hahaha. So it's lyk wrapping around your hips and then is button up and wear de~ CoOl~* Fell in love with the new series of ladies perfume Adidas released. Wee! I lyk the red one! Sho nice! Pestered mummy to sponsor le~hahah, she said ok sho i'm gonna get it during the weekends!!!Yay~!One of my wishlist items to be cancelled off! *Prances again*

Mebbe goin out wif teddy tmr bahx!~He's gonna get his graduation cert from PrSs tmr I tink? Hmmx, saw Hailing's nick,"4e1 2004!!!Meet at 1pm at small mac tmr" or sumting lidat~~*ponders*Well, mebbe he should spend some time with his pals tmr~~Well, i'll stay home if he isn't free then! =D We still got sunday newae!

Guess tat's all fer today~tata~!
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Thursday, May 12, 2005

5:29 PM

Addicted
It's like you're a drug
It's like you're a demon I can't face down
It's like I'm stuck
It's like I'm running from you all the time
And I know I let you have all the power
It's like the only company I seek is misery all around
It's like you're a leech
Sucking the life from me
It's like I can't breathe
Without you inside of me
And I know I let you have all the power
And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time
It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts, in my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm lost
It's like I'm giving up slowly
It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me
Leave me alone
And I know these voices in my head are mine alone
And I know I'll never change my ways
If I don't give you up now
It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts, in my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me
I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time, then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this
[2x]
It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts, in my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me

What's happening to me....Something's telling me...I'm not me...
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Wednesday, May 11, 2005

3:07 PM

Phew~it has been hell of a long week for me~All the examinations and stuff are killin mi~ Whew~ Today's the chem paper~Shit. Tough one for me. Dunno how to do lotsa qn~ *sobs*Well, Chem has always been mua weakest subject newae~ Need more revision!!!Sighx...

POA was still alright i suppose. Except the last optional qn. Bloody, all who did Qn 6 didn't manage to balance the final amount in the balance sheet. Ms Lye, are u foolin us or wot!? But newae, POA rawks. Can help mie fulfill an "A" bahx...Try hard hard to memorise all the structure can liaox.

Eng P1 last week made me rack my brains. Wrote bout the failure thingy...The informative report was tricky as well~ There were many ways to present that piece of work~We were supposed to write it in the way of an invite as well as a piece information report to guests about the school's 20th Anniversary posing as the President of the SC~ Bah...bet Ming Li didn't have much problem doin that up~
P2 was set by Ms Jumiah~Wow~Literature-like...Passage A on the issue on boys being stranded on an island is quite interesting~hee...A conch can make one a leader??Hmm~ Passage B was lyk, "huh"....sho mani chim chim words see le also cross-eyed.

SS paper made me go," DArN! All sec 4 topics!" Took hell of a long time to study Sec 3 stuff but it wasn't useful in the exam~ Bah...1.5 hrs is too short i suppose. I was rushing out mua essay during the last 15 min~

Math P1 was kinda average~However, Mr Ng warned that P2 was a killer~ Shitty~~

Yea Yea~ MT~ choose the "nian qing ren shi fou bu neng cheng shou cuo zhe" or sumting lidat~ Similar to my chosen topic in EnglishP1(failure thingy)...P2 was alright~have to brush up on mua zao ju and tian xie han zi newae!!!30th May cumin!!!MT Os!!~~Damn!

=X Argh~ Sec four life is indeed hell of a busy one for all of us this year. I WAN MY SHOPPING SPREES BACK! Tmr's Phy paper and ARt~ omfg~ 3 hrs for arts alone~ Sit till pi gu kai hua~hahaha. Weehee~

At dear's house now~ No mood fer studyin~ Bleah. Bought mua black colour eyeliner liaox! Hmmx, getting infatuated with make up all of a sudden~ =p Well, can't blame me, i'm still a girl afterall~~~*Prances around the room*

Yawnx~ feeling slpy now~ zZzZZZzzz...Tata~ mish me alright? ByEeeE~
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Monday, May 09, 2005

10:12 PM

Damn. I spend the day studying and cum home rest a while cannot isit! Kao. Say i nver take my studies seriously. K lar. Fine. I'm stupid! can?!Gotta take longer than others to study! Jus give me a break can?! Wanna study ask mi do this do dat for u?! Think i got sho much time isit! Hell la! AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Saturday, May 07, 2005

10:47 PM

Well~i guess it's true~As a chinese song expresses the taste of love as..."Ai hui rang ren shi qu zi li" (Love will make one lose independance)...well, quite true bahx...I've grown to be less independant since i got attached...Sometimes,little things will make me shed tears.I was never so in the past..Hmmx...wonder if that's because i'm too dependant on teddy le...dat's y i tend to feel real lonely when he isn't around and tend to shed tears when we quarrel bout minor issues. The past few days made exams period more difficult to pass by when teddy was at his FOC camp~~Had no concentration bahx...Well, hehe, concentration was instead focused on mua fone...was looking forward to a msg or two from him but to no avail at most of the time~cannot be blamed la...Phone isn't with him at all times sho not able to k.i.t.~Waah~i feel lyk a kid la~Can't express why~

Tada~finally met up today lor~Well, knew he enjoyed his camp~Told me all about it~~Hmmx,even though some stuff he said made me uneasy, i still have mua trust in him bahx...Well, i'll learn to trust more i guess~It's better to tell me the truth rather than keep it from me till i find out rite?=) Wat to expect when he gets into poly life??Guess i already know it all by now bahx...Some things are hard to refrain from~Especially when you have little control over it~Perhaps it's still better for us to accept things with an open heart afterall i guess. It'll do much good rather than quarreling over something we can't stop from happening. Right? (hmmx, if the above makes you go "huh?"..it doesn't matter i guess, i'll keep the tots i can't seem to express properly to myself...=p)

Tata~
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Sunday, May 01, 2005

11:53 PM

Let's recap....

Wootsie~speech day yesterday was great...Aw man...emotions tide over me when i think about yesterday~Last performance...we've formally stepped down from CO...Sobx. I mish mua juniors already...T.T Jus in case they read this,"Xinying,Liting,Pui Ying,Han Xiao,Sharyl,Debbie, Eleen,Jing Ping,Janine,and all zhong ruanlianx, I MISS YOU GUYS. O yea, lastly, Ding Lao Shi! Wo Hui Xiang Ni de~~*!!!" *Tears flood Rena's room while typin this* Thinking back bout all our time spent together really make tears well up in mua eyes...We've been thru a lot, really, all the happy and disappointed moments flash back one by one as i type out this entry...Time really has passed so quickly...still remembered the recruitment of the new sec ones,the training for beginners and how my juniors, gradually bloomed into musically inclined ppl~It jus seemed as though all these happened yesterday. I didn't dare to stay longer in the commerce room yesterday , if i did, i guess the whole room would be flooded. =x
To mUa deARest juNiors...:"I promised ya guys i'd go back after mid year rite?I'll keep mua promise ok?I'll be elated to see you guys in action again. Keep up the good work gals and make us, seniors proud of you in the upcoming performances and competitions!Rawk on Co!=)HugX!"

It was a long day yesterday, some issues, i guess i'd rather not mention...Chilled out with Steph,Zhiyi, Siok and Aaron yesterday at Mac after speech day...It has been so long since we hung out. Went to teddy's house after dat. Dropped dead after removing mua makeup and washing up when i reached home.Back hurts,leg hurts cos of heels...yikes~O yea!!Yippie~bought mua white eyeliner liaox...stephy bought the black one. Teehee! Enlargement for the eyes done within a min!!!!Muahahahah.=X But well, for me, hehe, dun wanna become goldfish sho din buy black colour de~Dum di dum~

Went out wif teddy today...ben lai wanna study at starbucks de...budden in the end never study much...Then go his house do hmk~~He slept...Snorex snorex. hahahx...Didn't accomplish much today~As expected...But at least i managed to finish mua hmk~Weehee~Hmmx, dunno why,today like no mood fer anything lidat...Sianx sianx de me today~ -.- At night pei teddy and family go bowling...Sighx, ,mua finger accidentally poke his eye~accident!NOt purposely de ma...=( He was upset i guess..Knew it hurt. Sorry lo...T.T Bah...he goin for his FOC camp on tuesday le...4 days leh...so long~T.T...luckily his camp is during mua examination period or else i will really sianx 1/2 lor. Sighx. Will miss him lots. Hope he'll take care...must miss me! =( He's goin out tmr too~wif mua ah jie go watch movie...Hmm ben lai felt lyk goin de~but again, no mood to go out...sighx....sho 5 days cannot meet le...Guess i'll be goin home after visiting mua granny tmr le bahx....Dat's all for today...Tata~*
some hearts are meant to be broken;;