;i keep up with a fake smile.Do you ever notice?



I FAKE A SMILE ALL THIS WHILE

DID YOU EVER REALISE?

It's me.So what?
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*Rena Heng
*aka Tiny,Nana
*17*
*30/5/89*
*TP,Hospitality and Tourism*
*PRSS,QNPS*

Her world revolves around...
*her friends
*family
*you
*her lovelies =3
*clubs
*drinking
*shopping
*bitching
*freedom

BEWARE,SHE SNAPS
I'm not who you think i really am. Don't like reading wat's here? Buzz off. =)
DO NOT JUDGE ME,period.

HER WANTS
*New navel stud*
*plain bikini*
*Waist belt*
*A pair of flats*
*Grey/white off shoulder*
*tan*
*Vintage dress*
*New phone*


THE ONES

Abigail
Adler
Arjuna
Audrina
Alpharian
Alvin
Boon Ern
Daphne
Daryl
Dixon
de-bonbons
Eugene
Genevieve
Hailing
Hakim
Hidayu
Hisa
Idy
Jacquelin
Jeslyn
Jingxuan
Justin
Jie Hui
Karen
Kok Sheng
Letitia
Pauline
Quan Zhang
Qiao
Royston
Stephanie
Shihan
Siok Wen
Sihan
Wei Li
Wei Jie
Weslie
Xiuqing
Yi ting
Yiwen
Yu Heng
Zhiyi
Zhu Xiaoming
Ziying
CUT THE CRAP

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TUCKED AWAY

Thursday, August 31, 2006

11:12 PM

Exams are over. A load taken off my shoulders. But still feel so overwhelmed. Why?

Oh. And RHT papers sucked. Tmd.

Fever. Swollen eye. Weak. Sigh.

I had loads to blog about but i lost the mood. Lost it al.
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Saturday, August 26, 2006

10:48 PM

it's getting harder to breathe. I just wanna end it all.

I'm fuckin sensitive these few days so don't push it too far.

Mum says he's not suitable for me.I was surprised...I thought so too anyway. Oh wells. I'm about to ram my head against the wall.
some hearts are meant to be broken;;

2:06 AM

OB. ONE DOWN. 3 more to go. Phew~*

Sometimes i tend to contradict myself. What do i really want!!!! Sighs.

Watever.
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Thursday, August 24, 2006

7:11 PM

Urgh. At Ch's house now. In a total frenzy.

Oh, i'm tryin to squeeze all the little data into my tiny and useless brain. Sigh. Pray i'll tide over tmr's OB!!!

Perception is based on what one thinks reality is and not reality itself. =)
I hope i'm getting somewhere.
some hearts are meant to be broken;;

12:18 AM

Blogger just won't start so I decided to post these thoughts on “word” first and copy it over when the host works again. I'm still contemplating if I should close this down. Blah….I've been blogging since 2004! What a long time. Time flies and it waits for no man. I finally knew what it really meant after so long. I've so many things I've wanted to accomplish but did not. Procrastinating. Sigh, I'll never change do I?

We often fall in love oh so quickly in a spur of the moment when passion overflows and when a gush of emotions fills our head so much so we can't think logically? We tell ourselves we've found ‘the one’ when we felt we have. We tell ourselves its L.O.V.E… But is it? So many breakups, so many take for granted, so many fights that never seem to be resolved, so many problems... What's love? Love is letting one go? Love is telling you to give up? Love is telling one that you let him/her go because you're not good enough? Now fuck tat. Love is all about compromising. Love is all about taking and giving but not to the extent of getting hurt yourself when you do so. Love is about being understanding. Love is about meaning the “I love you” when you say it. Love is about being matured when you deal with love. Sigh. Love? Too complicated, too much to swallow. Fuck love. But I’m missing that feeling….fuck tat. Sigh.

Eugene, if you read this, cheer up. =)Jocelyn, I may not know what has happened. But I guess, it's time to think it over, the both of you. The crying must stop someday. (forgive me for poking my nose into this, but i can't sit and watch the two of you crying all the time when this happens)

Sigh, feeling totally fucked up. Those suicidal thoughts won't go away. There is only one way to get it over and done with. Just plain jumping down the building and die. But I'm still vain; I wanna die pretty and may consider popping pills. Time will allow me to muster enough courage to do it.

I’m hooked onto this song.
Until I get over you
Woke up today thinking of you
Another night and I made my way through
So many dreams still left in my mind
But it could never come true

I press rewind
I remember when I close my eyes and I'm with you again
But in the end I can still feel the pain
Every time I hear your name
The sun won't shine since you went away
Seems like the rain's falling every day
There's just one heart, where there once was two
That's the way it's gotta be,until I get over you…
Walked through the park, in the evening air
I heard a voice and I thought you were there
I run away but I just can't escape
Memories of you everywhere
They say the time will dry the tears
But true love burns for a thousand years
Give my tomorrows for one yesterday
Just to know that I could have you here
When will this river of tears stop fallin'
Where can I run so I won’t feel alone
Can't walk away when the pain keeps callin'
I've just gotta take it from here on my own
But it’s so hard to let go
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Wednesday, August 23, 2006

1:23 AM

Two words, "fuck it". Why don't ppl take my words seriously? When i say i mind something, i really do. Damn it.

[i never seem to be taken seriously]
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Monday, August 21, 2006

12:30 AM

It's not a choice. I had to.

And i miss you grandpa. =( Can i join u in heaven? I think it's a nicer place out der. At least i won't feel so unloved. You'll be there to love me with all your heart and i know it.I miss u grandpa. I really do. So much it's killing me.
*weeps*
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Saturday, August 19, 2006

1:53 AM

Talking about loving myself..Qing's right. I have to learn how to zi ai.

Love, it's so yesterday i don't know how it feels like now. People i love don love me back.People i don wish to love me are making me run away. I'm so sick of feeling this way.

I'm so vexed and sick of my life now. These emotions are driving me nuts.
No direction.
No motivation.
Low self esteem.
Low self assurance.
Low self confidence.
Tat's how i really am right now. I'm putting on a facade all the time i didn't realise it until today.

My life seems so bland. Like a piece of plain white paper, it needs some colourful motifs.

[it's just emotions taking me over]
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Thursday, August 17, 2006

11:37 PM

Blogspot ate up my entry i typed out at Cyber Centre in school jus now. Sian. Haish. A depressing entry. Don wanna retype it again or i'll feel worse.

I never seem to be good enough for anyone, for anything.
some hearts are meant to be broken;;

1:11 AM

I'm falling so in love with this song currently. Was out with stephy darling jus now at Bugis. Sharon, Angelia, CH left early. Talked about sum stuff.

I got all emo whilst listening to this song on youtube when i got home. BAH~*

Saw someone alike. I chua tio. Like wtf. Not the feelings, but the moments. They just keep reappearing. The more i tell myself to forget them, the more it flashes back. Shoo.

Stephy told me she thinks she has no life. I questioned myself i thought the same way too. WTF.

Here's to you.

Just one last dance.
Just one last dance....oh baby...just one last dance
We meet in the night in the Spanish café
I look in your eyes just don't know what to say
It feels like I'm drowning in salty water
A few hours left 'til the sun's gonna rise
Tomorrow will come, it's time to realize
Our love is finished forever
How I wish to come with you (wish to come with you)
How I wish we make it through

Chorus:
Just one last dance
Before we say goodbye
When we sway and turn round and round and round
It's like the first time
Just one more chance
Hold me tight and keep me warm
Cause the night is getting cold
And I don't know where I belong
Just one last dance

The wine and the lights and the Spanish guitar
I'll never forget how romantic they are
But I know, tomorrow I'll lose the one I love
There's no way to come with you
It's the only thing to do

Just one last dance, just one more chance, just one last dance

[i feel so tired emotionally i just wanna collapse and not wake up anymore]
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Tuesday, August 15, 2006

12:11 PM

I'm pissed. Totally. Time definitely allowed me to see what kind of person you really are. WTF. Get out of my sight. You're no longer a friend. You still can act so indifferent to the things that you do. WTF. To think i thought so highly of you. Now, i DESPISE you. CREEP. Fuck off.

You think you know us so well. You thought you were right in EVERYTHIN YOU FUCKIN WANNA DO. Like yaya~ blah. Dont be a smartass. COS REALLY, YOU'RE NOT. =)
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Saturday, August 12, 2006

2:35 AM

Something is missing in my life, but i don't seem to know what it is....

Had BCS today. Damn it. I think i screwed up. Luckily it's only 25%. Or else jiu can long piak liaos..

Met up with Kla and Kenneth after test at 8+... I was damn tired and was contemplating if i should go or not. But i did anyway. Went on down to Marina Square to watch fireworks again. =) One word. Pretty. =)

Had dinner at a Thai restaurant and went on home.

Ps: thanks for sending me home! =)
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Wednesday, August 09, 2006

12:56 PM

Here i am bloggin before i make my way down to Chinatown to met Wen, Angel and Wei Li! Miss em all lar! So long nver see em liaos!!!! Go kboxing then dinner. =D In the meantime, here are pics from ytd. Had troubles uploading em last night.

Mich my love! haha!

Fiona!! Don't take my booby! =x
My lovelies


Letty! I know who to go for a good hug! =D

Jeslyn, pls leave my neh alone. =X

Ah bu(sandy)!!, Isabel, Michelle, Me! (clockwise)

The view near Oriental.

A pity i can't upload the video of the fireworks!!! *sulks* more pics comin up from tonite!
some hearts are meant to be broken;;

2:58 AM

Ah Kor called. He said. "ger ah...it's time u shud get a bf." Erh....Okay.....Maybe.

=.=

gdnite! pics up soon!
some hearts are meant to be broken;;

2:09 AM

As promised! I had fun today. Fireworks was beautiful. Met up with Sharon, Qing,Bk,Ch they all...Then met Kla and Kenneth. Hahas...

Michelle.Rena.Karen
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Tuesday, August 08, 2006

12:15 PM

Muahaha. I'm here during RHT tutorial again..As usual. Bloggin during lessons. =x

Yawns. Was chatting with Kenneth till bout 2+am. Should have slept earlier. =.= oh wells
Aunt stayed over night at my house. Haha, crapped wit her in the morning. She's fun.

Yay!Can finally watch the fireworks tonight ler! Meeting up with Sharon and peeps later. =D Pics will be up. Look out for em! It's been very long since i've uploaded pics.

I'm still feeling a bit emo over last night. Sigh. Commiting to something you know it won't last? Not very me. Perhaps it's different for you.Up to you bahs. Jus caring as a friend.

Maybe Jocelyn is right? I dunno. Tnks Jocelyn, i never knew you read my blog. =) Hope to see ya soon! Meet up soon yeah? =D
=D tata.
some hearts are meant to be broken;;

12:33 AM

I'm jus so confused.

Friends. I'm losing a lot of em. They just seem to drift further and further away from me...Haish.

Sometimes i just regret not leaving Singapore for Cananda last year. Oh well.

Bah.
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Sunday, August 06, 2006

3:04 PM

Cup noodles...loves. =) I'm savouring every single bit tat's in the cup. Lala~

While doin up the collage <-- At the side of da blog, i looked through so many of the fotos i have in my com. I tink it totalled up to over 100 over pics. Brought back memories. Both fond and of course, unpleasant ones.It made me realise how much i've changed through the years. Changes. Good changes? Bad changes? I dunno.A lil of both i guess. I've learnt how to look at people in a different perspective. To not judge a book by its cover.=) Lookin at pics, i realised i lost friends. Friends whom i could have been very close to up till now. It saddens me how contact is lost after secondary school days. I miss those ppl. Yiting, Siok Wen, Esther, Hakim, so many others out there. Too many to name it all. Sigh. I MISS YOU PPL.


National day is comin!!! =) Holiday! But test's the nxt day. Tmd...-.-

bye...gtg.
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Saturday, August 05, 2006

2:46 PM

I'm bored to tears. Stuck at home. Bah~* The feeling suck lar. Feelin a lil tat moody and all. LIFELESS. =.=

Wanted to blog ytd but was too lazy...OH wells. Was too tired also. Managed to catch the 10pm and 11pm show last night.
Watched the Lake House with Isabel, Jie Hui and Fiona ytd. Eh, if you're askin me if it's worth a watch...i'll say...it depends on the individual. Cos, for me, i teared during the movie. =X Some say it's boring. Yeah, kinda draggy lar. And the climax came towards the end. So yea. However, the ending was good, cos i like happy endings. =X I wanna live at the lake house!!!! *swoons*

Ah..my mind is blank now...

Karen's not in a good mood. I feel bad not being able to share her woes. Darling...do cheer up yah? I'm here if you need it.

Urgh. I'm stuck. Jus stuck. I jus wanna kip running and running...Away from here. To someplace i'll feel myself.

Wanted to call Bestie out. But her dad's back. Dont feel nice draggin her out like dat. Josh rushing project, dun feel good askin him out too, he's gotta complete as deadline's on Mon. Jia you. Henry..Shaun told me he's got work, i didn't noe dat. Bah...CH,Sharon,Qing, BK all nt free. Daryl's out, Eugene haven reply my sms since dat day, got gf ler, i doubt he has time.Wei Li has got soccer. Michelle and Jie Hui's out on GEMS. Karen's in no mood to go out. WTH. Where did all my friends go. Parents are out, moreover, daddy is sick. Bah....Feeling so darn pathetic. I can jus go ram my head against the wall. For once, i hoped i had a sibling. An older bro or sis preferably. Or maybe a boyfriend whom i can whine all day to. Urgh. WAtever lar.
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Wednesday, August 02, 2006

12:33 AM

Damn tired after econs at school till 9+. Qian was in the same lab, so chatted a lil.

Had dinner and all...missed the 9pm show...Haish. There goes my Julian Hee~=( He's darn cute. *swoons*

I'm totally pissed. I find it ok to make friends on sources like "friendster" but I can't stand it when things get out of hand. Just pure chatting online is ok. Nothin more. Like damn it. My status shows "busy" or "away". I just want to do my stuffs and the MSN window just keeps popping out one after another. I didn't reply, and no reply means I'M BUSY, BUZZ OFF...CONTINUE IRRITATING ME AND I'LL GET DAMN FUCKED UP WIT YOU. Tat's how i'm feelin now. I don't believe in love at first sight if you're askin if i am. Too put it crudely, i'm really not interested. I just want my peace. I don't know why but my email add and handphone number have been circulating among ppl i don't know. And these ppl tell mi my friends( and happen to be theirs also) gave them my contacts. LIKE WTF. AH!!!!!! BUZZ OFF. Please. I'm seriously not interested!! WTF. KNN. I'M SO GONNA RAM MY HEAD INTO THE DAMN WALL. FUCK LAR.
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Tuesday, August 01, 2006

1:51 PM

It's Rht lesson now, and here i am....bloggin a-w-a-y the lessons...Haha. I got so much to catch up for RHT that i dun understand whatever the teacher is talking about now. Bah~* Gotta jia you. It's been all projects projects and more projects that i think i'm losing my way in terms of tutorials. Urgh.

Finally managed to meet up with dearest Qing, Sharon, CH, BK papa during the weekends on Sunday. =) To bugis! Hur. the retail therapy really helped i guess.. bought a skirt, top, belt =D. I want more shopping!!!!!!!!!!! Sponsors anyone? lols.

Quarrelled with my aunt dat day. Affected me quite badly. but she sent me an sms to apologise after dat. =.= ah~

BB~...i'm feelin sleepy. And eyebags are getting more obvious. *sobs*
some hearts are meant to be broken;;