;i keep up with a fake smile.Do you ever notice?



I FAKE A SMILE ALL THIS WHILE

DID YOU EVER REALISE?

It's me.So what?
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*Rena Heng
*aka Tiny,Nana
*17*
*30/5/89*
*TP,Hospitality and Tourism*
*PRSS,QNPS*

Her world revolves around...
*her friends
*family
*you
*her lovelies =3
*clubs
*drinking
*shopping
*bitching
*freedom

BEWARE,SHE SNAPS
I'm not who you think i really am. Don't like reading wat's here? Buzz off. =)
DO NOT JUDGE ME,period.

HER WANTS
*New navel stud*
*plain bikini*
*Waist belt*
*A pair of flats*
*Grey/white off shoulder*
*tan*
*Vintage dress*
*New phone*


THE ONES

Abigail
Adler
Arjuna
Audrina
Alpharian
Alvin
Boon Ern
Daphne
Daryl
Dixon
de-bonbons
Eugene
Genevieve
Hailing
Hakim
Hidayu
Hisa
Idy
Jacquelin
Jeslyn
Jingxuan
Justin
Jie Hui
Karen
Kok Sheng
Letitia
Pauline
Quan Zhang
Qiao
Royston
Stephanie
Shihan
Siok Wen
Sihan
Wei Li
Wei Jie
Weslie
Xiuqing
Yi ting
Yiwen
Yu Heng
Zhiyi
Zhu Xiaoming
Ziying
CUT THE CRAP

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TUCKED AWAY

Saturday, July 29, 2006

4:27 PM

I just wanna say, don't claim you know us when you don't. It's you. You just don realise what u're doin don't you? WTH. Haish. My mood was kinda ruined after talking to you online today. You made me sound as if I'm not a good friend. Fine.

Interview was ok today..came home after dat and had row with my parents. Like watever~ Can't stand stayin at home, i'm off to Daryl's house to study. Before that, updates on pics..
Here!
Fiona.Rena.Cheryl

Like Watever~~~


After lessons....Off to Sentosa! My 5th time of the month man...

Qi Zhu!!!!


The rest of my homies. I love my class. =D


K.R.M. We'll stick together. =)

Dat's all for today. In a lousy mood.
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Tuesday, July 25, 2006

2:15 AM

...I'm back. =)

Cleared IHT and OB!!! Hurs...I'm damn happy. Two major projects done...Almost rather, cos OB presentation is this Fri...Faints*! Two major projects cleared but still loads to complete.
1)BCS Excel (i suck at excel i tell you.)
2)OB presentation
3)Sentosa report
4)Econs portfolio
5)RHT survey report
6)CommSk report writing

Bahs~* NOt forgettin, tests are comin up soon!!!

Blah blah...I just felt like bloggin just now while i was doin up part of Excel. But now that i'm here, the mood is kinda gone...=.= I'm considering to close down this blog...Sighs.

Oh wells, but since i'm here, i'm gonna rant about the issue which made me fuckin mad. It happened on Sat when my classmates and I were supposed to make our way down to Sentosa for our report thingy. Supposingly to do up report about Food And Beverage, Attractions, blah blah. There were 10 of us so we decided to split up. I went to Bens and Jerry's with a few of my friends while the others proceeded to some other restaurant. This particular restaurant's manager had no sign of being a good role model to his staff. He practically accused my friends for copying their menu which they didn't.. WTF. Talked hell load of crap. KPKB. WAAH! I listen to the story I can feel my blood boiling la! What kinda service attitude is this man! KNS. Shit him. AHH! Tmr we're making our way down after lessons at 2 to do up the Attractions part. See if we can go tekan the damn manager. AH!! I'm so angry lar!!!

And yea. I feel damn guilty can...Cos i dragged Karen to go tanning wit me on that day and she ended up with a fever and feeling sore all over. Sigh. Sorry darling. =( I feel damn sorry. I should have been the one in your place. Guilt overpours me now. =( >.<>

Sigh. I realise nothing goes well when i'm involved in it. I get blamed for practically EVERY FUCKIN THING I DO OR GET INVOLVED IN. What's wrong with me. Fine. Tat explained my bad mood today. Michelle, don worry, it's not about you. Baobei, don't worry. I didn't take those words seriously. Mayb it's just really me. Nothng seems to go right.

This have been goin on for weeks. Someone just put a stop to this for me. Pls? I beg you. *screams* I may appear strong and want to be strong, but you know, i ain't tat strong inside afterall.

[i jus don feel loved like before anymore. Take me away from this pain. I can't go on feeling like this anymore.]
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Monday, July 24, 2006

1:12 AM

So much's goin on!!!! I'm so luan! AH!~!!!!!!!!!!!
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Thursday, July 20, 2006

11:54 PM

wo hao xiang hao hao guo;

so much's happenin around me! I just wish the world would stop spinning allow me to understand the things i really don't have an idea about now.

I nearly went bonkers during CommSk and i did something embarassing. I walked out of the class with Isabel to go to the toilet and i purposely banged myself into the lockers. I was that siao can?! Until Vinnxi told me he saw and he tot that someone was siao. He kept laffin lar when he realised it was me....Kns! =( And yes, his friends were there as well. Bah...The best part. It didn't hurt and i banged real hard. Sigh.

Met up wit Daryl at downtown after project work. Total low again. But i didn't really show it. Went to the park. Saw airplanes. I just wanna leave the country and go on a vacation or something. He's right lar. We always want what we don't have. Haish. I wish someone can just save me from all these i'm feeling. Take me away from here....Far....far....away.............far...away...from....here...

And yes, not forgetting. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOSHUA! Sorry i couldn't join u guys today. I hoped you enjoyed yourself. I'll make it up to you i promise.

[ai xiao de yan jing....wo yao zhao hui wo zhi ji. sobs.]
some hearts are meant to be broken;;

12:21 AM

I'm so driven up to my neck with the amount of work. My checklist is getting longer. And i'm desperately tryin to clear the things i have to complete one by one. I'm chokin can...=.= Omfg. Sumone just help me. I know I shouldn't be whining when everyone is facing the same amount of work in my course. But i can't help it! For my blog is the only place i can whine at and nobody will say anithing, cos it's my blog, and i say wat i want to. =)

This week's all packed. I'm feelin uber guilty I won't have time to go out with Josh on his b'day. Which is like..today. I've been so lost in time i've nearly forgotten about it. Haven got the time to grab a pressie blah blah. Haish. Sorry Josh. I promise i'll make it up to you. =( But anyway, in case you read this, HAPPY B'DAY! =)

Everyone around me's like feeling so down lately i'm beginning to feel the same. Urgh!

Sentosa project specs is out. Saturday, to Sentosa again to do up report. OB due on fri! Presentation next week! IntHT presentation due on Friday! RHT due on Aug 4!!! Econs also due in a few weeks time! Excel due next Friday! Excel mock test nxt Mon! Where the fuck am i goin to find so much time! Phew~ But i'll make it. I promise. =( Jia you Rena.

Went to TPJC today. Caught up with Daryl and Eugene. Finally got to meet Jocelyn. =) She's nice. Saw a few familiar faces. TK, Rong Teng, etc. Met Eugan too! Liew~ See me jiu hit me on my head...liew....Lols. Talked loads. Oh well. =) He was asking me to go on Sunday to meet Miss Ho and others as well. Haish. We'll see if i'm able to squeeze out time after meetin Althea and Shaun with Karen.

And i'm still considering if i should go to my P6 class outing at Mdm Teo's house. Ah Meng's goin lehs....den ask me go...=( !!! Why do so many things have to clash! Haish.

I love you peeps around me so do cheer up no matter wad k? =) We'll get through this tgt!

Anybody interested in Sentosa beach party!!!! Drop me a msg!!!!!!!!!!!!
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Tuesday, July 18, 2006

11:44 PM

It's just emotions tiding me over.

Lala~*lala~* =.= Haish.

Nothing seems to perk me up. Help.
some hearts are meant to be broken;;

2:05 AM

i'm dying can~

Sibeh tired. Finally finished helpin Josh with his Sentosa report. Didn't take a lot of time. 30 min to do up all the info. Luckily only need short descriptions. Or i'll die. =.=

Yawnx. There's so much to do. But i'm coping well for now. Tests, deadlines,new projects. Bah.

Oh no...I got tan line ler...=( Nvm, i wanna get darker. Haha. Sunday's trip to Sentosa was fulfilling (in terms of tanning). Will be makin my way down again on this coming Sat.

off to crash on bed. Cannot tahan.
[Wo zhen de hao lei]
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Friday, July 14, 2006

1:28 AM

I've been selected for IMF. Eh, but surprisingly, i don't feel as elated as i expect myself to be. And yes , i've moved on to the second round of interview for PaceSetters. The "someone" just missed my name out and didn't call me so i thought i wasn't chosen until Rahayu sent me an sms saying that there is an AGM this Sat. Oh, and she told me i'm actually selected. Erpx. Ok. And yea, did i mention? I think i wanna quit dance. It's just not me to be in "modern dance". Like ballet cum jazz. Eh. A little "so not me". Oh well, we'll see how it goes. Schedule getting packed for the following days of the week. And Candy emailed us to say that there's a class gathering for my Primary 6 class on sunday at Mdm Teo's house. I wish to go! I wanna see how everyone is! WE'll see...

I've been totally drained outta my energy for the past few weeks doin up my projects,etc. Urgh. Good news, I would have been able to clear MOST of my projects by the end of the month. Hur, i completed CommSk oral presentation on happy slapping. Glad that classmates found it interesting. =D Stupid video couldn't play. Wasted lar. Used one whole night to locate it and ended up failing to show it. Saddened. Sigh. Oh well...IntHT would be cleared by tmr. Rushin like mad. OB is due next week. AH!!!!!!! Stressed ah~* *faints*

Met up with Aaron today. Was surprised he initiated to meet up. Oh well...I was so afraid i'll be utterly late i left my pencil case in the labs(hey, the late queen do make attempts to meet up on time k). =.= Luckily my dearest IntHT members retrieved it for me. Or i would need to get a new thumbdrive . BAh~*

It was dinner at PastaMania and then we caught Pirate's of the Caribbean, the Dead man's chest. Great movie. However, i still think the first was better as compared to this. I'll be waiting for the sequel though. =)
Then to STarbucks for a chat. It's been AGES since we've last seen each other. Our chat made me ponder over loads of stuff. And i mean LOADS.

Maybe Aaron's right. I should stick to my boundary. Thanks for offering to send me home. But like i said, I'm old enuff and stop saying i look like a 13 yr old kiddo can! I don't and i'm not the Rena you knew earlier! Waliews...

The wait for the bus was long and i was actually reviewing over the contents of the chat. I couldn't help but have flashbacks i didn't want to have. Those memories just won't leave me alone no matter how hard i try to forget em. Well, like they say,memories are not meant to be forgotten anyway. Aaron's right, i've gone out of my boundary and perhaps it's time to get back into the circle i used to be in. I couldn't help but started tearing on the bus. Luckily there weren't a lot of ppl on board or else it'll be utterly embarassing. Those feelings I don't want to have are coming back again. All the "why didn't I" started to resurface. AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HATE THIS FUCKIN FEELING.

[Those were the days i felt thankful having you around.
Those were the days which when i look back on, i think i felt so stupid.
Those feelings i had would not be given to me by some other someone.
Those were the moments i would recall and laugh and cry upon them.
Those were the times, i felt so heartbroken i could die.
Those were the times, which made me change my perception of myself.
Now, my perception of YOU has changed. Totally.
My head is clear, my heart has been wounded. And the scar remains till today.
I don't want to lie to myself believing that time heals all wounds.
For it doesn't.]

I love my KRMs...=) you know we love each other.
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Tuesday, July 11, 2006

12:22 AM

GREATEST PARTY ALL YEAR! ZOUK OUT AT SILOSO BEACH. Reservations of tickets are made available. CONTACT ME AT renaheng@hotmail.com cost of ticket is 20 bucks. Renting of stalls at bazaar are available too. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? Grab those tickets now! CONTACT ME~

I'm damn tired and i shall make today's entry short and sweet.

Projects are up to the brim. Due dates!!Urgh. In a rush to make everything possible and perfect. I must admit, i'm a perfectionist. Gambate Rena...

I hate to say this but those actions didn't really mean a thing to me. I'm happy the way i am now. And it will stay this way for as long as i want it to. I just tink i give people wrong impressions too easily. Sorry.
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Sunday, July 09, 2006

9:15 PM

Those tears just won't go away....

I'm living in one of the deepest valley in my life. Urgh. It sucks feeling like that. I feel that i'm just stuck. Stuck with everything that's happening in my life. No good changes. No new implementations and all. It's just like i'm still left where i have been abandoned. So many thoughts are piling up in my mind i just can't kick em off all away.

Didn't slp since the night before due to watching soccer. The Portugal & Germany match. Steph, Josh, Henry, Shaun stayed over at my place. Watched it at the function room with other residents. Portugal lost. Damn. Score was 3-1. O yea, C. Ronaldo is cute. =)

Thoughts revolved my mind while sitting down at the poolside the whole morning after the match. Made me wonder what did i really wanted and how i wanted my life to be. Guess what. My mind was in a blank and it still is up to this point of time. I've lost all directions. No help, no nothin. I used to have people I could convey my feelings and thoughts to, but now, i don't feel comfortable doin that anymore. WTF's goin on with me? I'm afraid it's gonna stay that way for long. =( And not forgetting that, i feel so unloved. People care for the sake of wanting to give y ou the impression they care. NO. Impressions are different from wanting to care for you deep down below.

It's just those days i just wanna give up on life.
>.<
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Saturday, July 08, 2006

12:37 AM

It feels good after taking a good shower and all...I jus need a good break off everything that's happening. This week's been tremendously hectic. Bah. I can even count the hours i sleep with two hands. And adding on to that, i've been sick for 3 weeks. What the hell~*3 freaking weeks, 21 days and counting. =.= I can't even keep track of what i've been doin.

I don't know why i felt tat way...but i'm breaking up inside.
[everytime i act so brave i'm shaking inside, why does it hurt me so]
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Wednesday, July 05, 2006

1:43 AM

IHT is a killer! Omg...PBL is so taxing. =.= But i believe we'll get used to it all....Over time...

Jus managed to complete part of travel intermediaries learning issues. Have other parts to complete. Shall go borrow more books from the library tmr. Peng sia. Hur, 3 of our groups are goin to combine to share resources. Shall do it during the 3 hr break tmr. And yes! I will attend RHT lecture. =D Totally blur about econs topics nowadays. AH!!!!! Like i said, i'm dreading the lesson tmr. =( Got back most of results today....erms. Loads of room for improvements. =.=

I'm so sick of explaining what i've been up to recently again and again. Totally stressed out by work. However,I won't forget my balance of work and play. How can i forget about the "play" part anyway! Hurs. But yeah. like i said, i've been busy with projects and class assignments blah blah. I get easily irritated when i say, "Hey, i'm busy at the moment" but ppl just keep talkin to me and askin what i'm doin and stuff and asking if i'm free to talk. Urgh! LIke i said! "I'm busy AT THE MOMENT." So like, buzz off and i will get back to you when i'm more available!!! Arh!

bb~* i nid my beauty slp.
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Tuesday, July 04, 2006

12:55 AM

I'm dead beat. Jus managed to complete rht tutorial. Wanted to touch up on CommSk presentation stuffs but guess I'll do it tmr. Yea yea...I'm procastinating...Bah. I'm tired. It feels all so wrong today.

This week's packed.

I'm so tired i can't think what i want to blog proper. Urgh. Gdnite ppl.

[i'm dreading tmr and wed. I think econs is a gone case.]
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Sunday, July 02, 2006

3:23 PM

I can't stop thinking; those thoughts i shall keep to myself.

So much's goin on, i can't keep track of what i've been doin for the past few days. Been quite busy and hence, didn't have time to update. Millions of apologies. I realise my involvements are building up. Don't have time to catch up wit a lot of friends. Except for some who i've been hanging out with these few days. Piao kias! Where's our outing. =( I miss you peeps lar. Vivian, Evelyn, it's been ages since we last met. Same school, same building, but so little chances to meet. Qing! OUr shopping trip gotta postpone.Sorry. =( Unless Sentosa trip is cancelled on SAt, cos Sun I'm involved in other stuffs. Wei Li,Angel, Huey Wen! Sorry for not being able to make it for the past few times when you guys wanted to meet up. =(
Haish. And to the others whom i've promised to meet up with, I'm so sorry. This month seems to be one of the most hectic ones. Slapped with projects, work, school stuffs, YouthEmpire stuffs.

[No chemistry]
some hearts are meant to be broken;;