;i keep up with a fake smile.Do you ever notice?



I FAKE A SMILE ALL THIS WHILE


DID YOU EVER REALISE?

It's me.So what?
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*Rena Heng
*aka Tiny,Nana
*17*
*30/5/89*
*TP,Hospitality and Tourism*
*PRSS,QNPS*

Her world revolves around...
*her friends
*family
*you
*her lovelies =3
*clubs
*drinking
*shopping
*bitching
*freedom

BEWARE,SHE SNAPS
I'm not who you think i really am. Don't like reading wat's here? Buzz off. =)
DO NOT JUDGE ME,period.

HER WANTS
*New navel stud*
*plain bikini*
*Waist belt*
*A pair of flats*
*Grey/white off shoulder*
*tan*
*Vintage dress*
*New phone*


THE ONES

Abigail
Adler
Arjuna
Audrina
Alpharian
Alvin
Boon Ern
Daphne
Daryl
Dixon
de-bonbons
Eugene
Genevieve
Hailing
Hakim
Hidayu
Hisa
Idy
Jacquelin
Jeslyn
Jingxuan
Justin
Jie Hui
Karen
Kok Sheng
Letitia
Pauline
Quan Zhang
Qiao
Royston
Stephanie
Shihan
Siok Wen
Sihan
Wei Li
Wei Jie
Weslie
Xiuqing
Yi ting
Yiwen
Yu Heng
Zhiyi
Zhu Xiaoming
Ziying
CUT THE CRAP

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TUCKED AWAY

Thursday, March 30, 2006

3:09 PM

I'm so bored at home i could die.. Mum just left home to go to Jurong (shihan's house) for mahjong...sibeh sian.

I remembered being in dampened moods yesterday. Didn't feel like goin home yesterday night after day out with Qing,Fidy and Chun Hong. Decided to take a walk. Jus spotted something which i didn't wanna witness at all. No, i didn't spot someone i know if you're wondering. But just something else. I didn't know it'd made me so upset. You know, i do know that people around me care. Friends, family. And i know people like you are concerned bout me when i mention that i'm not in the best of moods in this blog. You read my blog because you wanna know what's goin on in my life, and because you do care a hoot. (Or don't you?) But sometimes, i just can't help feeling so alone and without anybody i can really relate to. At certain times i find myself feelin so helpless and all but nobody is there to give me a pat and ensure me it's alright. I just sense my mood swings getting worse day by day. What's really happening to me?! I just wanna be alright again.

People say hugs are good, and i think i seriously need one now.

bye. Off to the park. I nid to unwind. Badly.

some hearts are meant to be broken;;

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

11:29 PM

I'm just envious.

some hearts are meant to be broken;;

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

10:10 PM

Sometimes, things are so unpredictable.

Some issues triggered certain thoughts i wouldn't have expected to think of. Why am i feeling this way? I don't know. Solemn reflects my mood now. I just don't get myself. Really.

Oh, yea. The chapter closes, the story ends.No. It ended long ago. I just didn't bear to close it down, but now dat i have, i guess i shouldn't ponder over it too much.It only make me tear when i read those entries. It wasn't meant to be afterall i guess. Perhaps you've forgotten about its existence even. Not to mention forgetting what's the user and password. I don't wanna read too much into it anymore. And from now on, i won't. I don't want things to be the same. I'll never want it to be the same again. Never. I didn't want it to be the way it was in the past afterall.

I will stop reading too much into people's words and think that it's something it isn't. It'll only make me fall deeper. Just like how i did in the past. I fell too hard and i won't let myself fall again.

*a promise kept*
Ciao.

some hearts are meant to be broken;;

Monday, March 27, 2006

11:57 PM

Was late in meeting Chun Hong and Bai Kun..Woke up at 9am when i was supposed to meet em at 9.30am. Sowi!!!! Hannah Holding's assignment was tougher this time around. Had to change the packaging. Gotta go back another day to continue le...Nvm! Humph~

Went Bugis to pei Chun Hong buy his bag at Zinc...I wanna get my bag too!!! >.<

Watched 'Failure to Launch' with Qing at Tm after dat....So sweet lar...lol. Some men just need a little push...=D Hee~

Hmm....nth interesting today....Tot of posting up some pics from CO concert and day out with gurls at Han River!!! =D Here it ish...
Angelia.Ting mama. Me.Miss Cheong!!! Next time must call her Zhang lao shi le!!!! =X Our Chi teacher to be!!!Angelia...Really larh! She really growing prettier you noe!!!!!!!!!!!*hint hint*Cute cute Ziqi!!!!!!! Esther! My fellow Gao yin ruan-er!!! I kinda miss Co!!!! Miss Ding ask mi go back Ruan Zu~~ er...er....eh....=X

Pui Ying told me her string broke during performance!! See! I told you! Anybody who sits in the second gao yin ruan-er place her string will definitely break during performance de!!! Jinx seat ah!!! Last time Huixin sit there, her string always break, last time i sit der, my string also break, now, Pui Ying sit also break!!! Liew~

Went out with mua gurls(Vivian,Evelyn,Qing, Angelia) to Han River(eastpoint) to eat after cutting hair last wk~=)Mmmm~~~


Qing Qing!!! She ate 2 bowls of rice!!!!! O.O
Yummy!

ICE CREAM!!!!! =x


Met darling Stephy at Marina go gai gai!!! Chun Hong also came along with his two friends...

Hur~ Look CH!!! Your foto!!! See! told you! Cute rite!!!! Lol. Like lil boi boi~ =X Hmm, know you've been goin thru a lot lately...Hmm, you should know i'll always be supportive of what decisions you make!!! Just as long you've no regrets! These journeys are part and parcel of life...Just like you, i've been roughened up in the past already! So you'll grow stronger and know how to deal with such problems in the future! But one advice, go for what you really know you want, dont make haste decisions or let chances slip you by! They'll never come back! =) If you're unhappy, know we friends will be here! I'll be your listening ear yaH? =D Just glad you're willing to share your woes. =D Unhappy tell mi! i treat you ice cream larh! =D

tata~* guess this post long enuff liao...goin out with Qing tmr!!! Wee~*



some hearts are meant to be broken;;


1:32 AM

*The vision is so impossible to make out.It just makes me wanna give up lookin forward to whats in store for me*
Wee~Hur hur...work at expo ish OVER!!!!!!!!!! =X I'm sho happi...=p
-Typical Singaporeans...Kiasu! (grab grab grab ah!!!)
-Sudden crowds...-.-
-Boon Ching! Ching Wei! Qing! At least these people made workin at expo sales "ok". Or i'll be bored lyk wot.
-Cup corn!!! Biscuits!!! Mua Chee!!! Water!!! Yeah, basically, my everyday junks. =X
-Irregular lunch/dinner hours. None, even.
-108 pairs of slippers + shoes sold!!! Muahaha.

Hmm, certain conversations really made me realise how immature i was in the past. Ching Wei's right. I've already learnt how to not read too much into people's words and thoughts. He said i've changed. For the better? I don't know. He say i last time so 'hyper' now become 'low' le...Hmm. May be a good thing for me though. At least i won't need to pretend to be happy like the past. =) Bah~~~Tokin shyt again.

Tmr makin my way down to Hannah's Holdings for Slimtrim product assignment with Chun Hong and Bai Kun...=) Then maybe meet Qing for movie....I'm dying to catch movies!!!!! Haish....When was the last time i caught a movie man....=.=.

Tata~* =)

some hearts are meant to be broken;;

Friday, March 24, 2006

12:10 AM

-Knee hurts, fell down stairs...bleeding. -.-
-Work at Piero, 4 days, S'pore Expo
-Tiring
-Metro sale. So many ppl!
-Familiar faces!!! ( Ching Wei, Boon Ching)
-Thur---Sun!!!!
-Growin fatter. Wotever~
-Phuket trip changed to 29 Apr.
-Signed up for FOC...

Won't be online often.
Lastly....
-Pls miss me...=p

Tata~*

some hearts are meant to be broken;;

Monday, March 20, 2006

11:18 PM

Diao...was late this morn. Supposed to meet Qing and Angelia for checkup at 8am...but woke up at 8am instead..=p Paiseh!!!! Lol...

Tampines DBS building's clinic so mani ppl lor! Went to North Bridge Road's Raffles Hospital instead after a trip back to PRSS...Whole checkup took 3 hrs....sian. =.=

It was to Suntec for work after tat...hee! Dearest Qing ish sho nice she pei-ed me till 9.30pm leh!!! Huggies!

Hiek...tmr's day out with gals and meeting Chun Hoong and friends at night...lala~* Hair cut tmr!!!!

Tata~* sibeh tired~

some hearts are meant to be broken;;

Sunday, March 19, 2006

12:38 AM

Woo~long entry...pls bear wif mui....=)
Yesh yesh...jus changed my pic...
<== Say it's weird/ugly/act cute wotever. I still like it...=p

*Saturday*
Met Angelia at Tampines walk walk before meetin the others for CO concert at NAFA. Hee! Urgh...something's wrong with blogger today...sho can't upload all the pics..oni manged to upload pathetically one...Urgh..^&*%!!!!!

Angelia's gettin pweetier!!!! ^.^

Shall upload all the others when blogger's back into it's normal mode again...Ki siaox de today... -.-. Try to upload till i pek chek ka~~~~

Oh well~ *rolls eyes*.

Met SiokWen,Esther,HuiXian,Ziqi,Yi ting mama! at Bugis for lunch/dinner. Miss em so much larh! Must meet up more often eh gurls!!! =D (eh,breakfast+lunch=brunch. Lunch+Dinner=????)The feeling of watchin a co concert as an audience seems pretty weird...To think that we were the ones who performed in previous school concerts. WAtchin our precious juniors perform made us feel so proud and at the same time, nervous for them..Though i wouldn't say they were fabulous, but their improvement and effort put in can be observed. Compared to the CCA open house performance, they were far better larh! Phew~* I miss CO practise in PRSS...Haix. I remembered havin so much fun practising as a group. Of course there were downs we had. However, it made it all worth while when we clinched two Golds in our SYF in 2 consecutive years!!!! Woohoo~! And not forgetting Miss Ding larh, though we always call her Ding lao lao budden in our hearts she'll always be our beloved instructor! =D Ding lao shi also become prettier liao leh!!!! =D She wants us to join her Ruan Ensemble in Apr...ER.....for that, i gotta think twice..Hehe.

It was home after dat. Wanted to go for supper, but well, it was gettin too late.
And i've got work the next day....=.= seh diao. Carpark sales!!! Most dreaded!!!

*Sunday

Met Qing at Tam in the morning...Walan eh...not enough sleep...=.= Eyes wanna "kam" liao...-.- bus 72 we boarded broke down halfway at a bus stop...Sibeh sian. Luckily the next bus came fast. Or else jiu late liao!!! I feel so dumb can?! I remembered taking an MRT and a bus all the way to Kovan and it took almost 1 over hr...-.- Yuan lai 72 goes there straight!!!! 15 min jiu reach liao! Waliew~ I just feel damn dumb can?!!!!!!! *palms head* ay*So damn bloody warm the whole day...So many ppl summore...I stand der no need move also jitao sweat till kns! The whole packet of tissue paper also not enuff for me to wipe off perspiration...=.= Haish. Now i know how tough workin at carpark sales is. Warm. Sweaty. Fussy customers who keep askin why Nike products are still so damn ex after discount...-.-( how i noe sia! they control price one mar!!! T.T)

Met so many ppl today lor...Met Miss Ho Lee Chew, she came by with her mum to get stuff...Miss Sim and Mr Joshua Tan came together! =D Tio chua when i saw them standin in front of me lar....Lol. Oh yea...Met the GM of Wingtai also. He came on down to the carpark sales to help out...Lol...Woah, not bad seh.I've always thought GMs only sit in office do paper work nia...Before I knew it, he whipped out a loudspeaker and went" Long sleeve shirts for $5!!! Blazers at $29!!! Buy one get one free ah!!!!" O.O Oh well, he introduced himself to me and stood by Nike wagons for quite a while...Was quite uneasy with him around. Never work with GM before mah! Then i always act busy so no needa entertain him...=p But he's a nice person lar~ =) He was clad in Nike from head to toe can! Good leh, he stand at our wagon, be our model...Lol...=X Yesh yesh, Mr General Manager is a nice guy...

Packed up at 7pm+...Home sweet home....=D

Hmm, still got work tmr from 5-9.30pm..Sibeh sian...Vincent wanted me to work full shift tmr at Suntec...Siao bo!!!! I don wan...lol. So work only from 5-9.30. Hur hur~ In the day go medical checkup den go soh with Qing and Angelia....Urgh. YOu know, i think i need a hair cut badly...=( It's to Katong on 21st! Then work's gonna start again on 22nd. This time for Piero at Expo...MEtro sales....starts on 23rd~

Tata~


some hearts are meant to be broken;;

Friday, March 17, 2006

1:12 PM

"it'll grow to be better" something i told myself in the morn. Sniff sniff...

Still a lil feverish...

Ytd night was kinda bad...Felt a lil low. Began forwardin msgs to friends and see who would reply to them. And perhaps i'll be able to borrow a listening ear from tat someone. I remembered sending 6 msgs, but only one reply. Thanks Fang...Ended up switching off my phone. Had a T.L.C. and headed off to bed. The grogginess was killing me. HOwever, the funny thing was i couldn't get to sleep no matter how hard i wanted to. Popped another medicine hoping the drug would be able to put me to sleep. And well, it did.

Mum's out. Brought eldest uncle to hospital for checkup. I'll be meetin up with her soon for my eyesight checkup. Gotta get new supply of contacts. And get a new pair of spectacles~=)

Still wondering if i should make it to FOC...Aw~*scratches head*

To darling STephy! Good luck gurl! You know wot i'm referring to! However, don't keep the hopes too high, like what i said, competition is tough. High hopes, the higher your disappointment will be if you *touch wood* fail. HOwever,I know you'll do us proud gurl no matter what the outcome will be~! Gambate!

Hmm, guess i'm off! Jus finished watching "The Prince and Me", now, it's to "Raising Helen!"

I seriously need something to keep me preoccupied at home...Urgh...CO's concert tmr~~!!!! =D Pictures on their way~!!!!

Tata~*

some hearts are meant to be broken;;

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

4:19 PM

[Full House rawks!] Sho nice can?! I watched the last few discs again and again today..I don't mind watching it a million zillion times again!.=p The place ish gorgeous!!! The plot ish so touchin. Made me laugh and tear so many times! -.- I'm gonna get the whole set of dvd/vcd. Not forgetting the OST! Hiek~..=p Or who's nice to get that for me??? =X I realise i'm falling head over heels with Korean dramas and music..First it was "lovers in paris" and now this...lala~!!!! Not to mention, Korean actors are so cute! *blush* =X Hur hur~ And now that i'm home these few days, i've got time to catch Lovers in Paris on Channel U every night at 7pm...=D
Look at the place man... *swoons~*

And for one more time, Rain's so cute! =X AHHHhh~ *swoons~*

Feeling giddy and all now having just taken my medicine~ Urgh. Fuckin bored at home...=.=


Tata peepx..off to nap a while~ Cannot tahan~ *yun~*


some hearts are meant to be broken;;

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

5:03 PM

Flu's getting worse. Fever's gone down. I'm sick for dunno how many times since the beginning of this year already. Michelle was just then makin fun of me for having "nobody to take care" hence causing me to fall sick again and again. Diao.

I've been kinda stressed up by some stuff lately...Some thoughts just kept revolving around my mind i just think people don't seem to take my words or me seriously. Why say those words when you know over time you'll forget bout them all? Why make it public when you know it's not gonna hold on for long? What the hell were you thinkin. I don't understand you, and perhaps i never will. The intention of keepin close contact with you has been striked off my mind. All wrong impressions, i didn't give. The good impressions you gave, but didn't hold on to. I'm glad we're in different schools. I'm so glad i won't need to face you all the time. I'm sick of these people who take me as a fool and for a ride. You make me hate myself and make me lose faith in placing trust in people. It's killing me.I'm terribly disappointed.Upset. NO PROBIN PLS, period.

I know you ppl care, loads of words of encouragement, tnx. It's just another crisis in my life i have to tide over for now. I know i'm stronger than before, and i will continue to be. Wei Li, thnx for all the encouragements and wake up calls you gave. Though we don't really know each other well, i know you'll always be there for me. Get well soon! Poxy ~ =p Fx, tnx, I know life's been hard on you lately as well but you never fail to care bout what's happening in my life. I thank you dude. Dearest Qing, you've been bringing smiles to me ever since. I've enjoyed workin with you so much and you make me forget the troubles i have just chilling around and crapping yah? =)

I will stand tall again. I know you may not understand or know what i'm facin but i just plead for you not to probe. You know, sometimes, certain things i'd rather keep to myself. Like i said, i've lost trust in people, faith and all. I'll find them back in no time i promised myself. Just leave me here feeling low for the time being. Perhaps a big cry will end it all for now. One plead, just leave me alone.

[you make me wanna keep running away]

some hearts are meant to be broken;;

Monday, March 13, 2006

9:22 PM

*sniff sniff* down with flu. A little feverish and all. No work from tmr onwards until further notice...Ah liang called and told me Vincent said they have enough staff for Plaza temporarily. Guess I'll wait for Piero's job assignment at expo from 23rd to 26th bah~ Great~ Can take this time to do stuff i want. -.-

Oh yeah, mum booked tickets to Phuket le...at Allamanda...29th Mar-1st Apr. Shihan will be goin too! =) Not really lookin forward to this trip though...Oh well. =)

Today's interview was ok lar...6 ppl to 2 lecturers..Didn't think i did very well.Bah~Hee...Made 2 new friends! So fast rite...=p hee~ Xinning and Yiwen accompanied me there...Tnx gurls. =D
Finally received my enrolment package from TP...Finally~! Gotta go for checkup...Will make appointment for Thur bah. Must go take passport foto..So mafan~Gotta go make contacts and specs by this week too bah~Or else no time liaox. Miao Hua was askin if i'll be attending FOC.Seems like fun..=) i'll give my reply this week yeah man? =)

Watched Campus Superstar on Tv just now...Hee~! Woah...Yuyang quite cute eh...Renfred's dance made me drop jaw. Somehow i just feel Zhiyang looks a bit like Eugene. Lol. Today's Teresa's performance was ok nia leh....Lol..Mr Ng, his fav. Bah~

I'm so bored i could die now...
tata~*

some hearts are meant to be broken;;


1:52 AM

I just wanna scream out loud.AAAAaaaaaHhHhHhhHHHHHhh~!!!!!!!!!!!!! =.=

I'm dead tired. It's already 2~ and i'm stil here bloggin, and guess what. I haven even done my research i need for tmr's interview.

Rite...let's do a back track...WEnt for a bbq at Pasir Ris Park organised by my Malay secondary school friends. Love em. Will miss em to bits since some of us won't end up in the same school...Khairel's in tp!!! Faizal's in Sp...Ahmad dearest is in Sp...blah blah blah. Haish...=( Went there after work with Angelia and Qing...Was already midnight when we reached there...sibeh sian. Had to go home early...Mum kp. Tmd`. Oh wells..To think that it just seems like yesterday when we had a bbq after our prelims..I remembered we had so much fun. I'm just glad there were no racial barriers between us in my class..=D I love 2005 4e4!!!!!!!!!! Thinking of organising a bbq on 31st...Hmm...In the midst of waiting to confirm the date....=p

Today's work was fine~ Did shelving in Plaza Store...Ytd sales sibeh good~!!! Hiek Hiek!!Exceed target!!! Sho happy..the sense of satisfaction..Woot!!! Got yd keep thanking me summore wor!!! So paiseh...Recommended Dunk Low Premium UTT..=D Hur~ Hur~ =X HOwever, today's sales was pretty bad....1000+ nia~ =.= sian diao. And worse, Vincent came around. Shit him. See his face i cannot eat lunch. Tmd~ shoo!

Met up with Xinning, Yiwen, Eric, etc at Suntec for the IT fair...So many people can?! Saw Nae, Charlie, Stacie, Lester workin there. Liew~ like pasar malam like dat....so crowded. Kept kena knocked into by ppl...*humph!*

Rushed back to Tampines to meet up with Miss Ho, Wilson, Huixin, Weibin and Xing Yi jie...I nearly forgotten bout the coffee date. Luckily Miss Ho msged me man~Bloody hungry can....went without dinner so ate pasta salad at Starbucks...*vomits* eat till i wan vomit~ oily like shit. Olive oil put so much!!!!!! >.<
Haish. I didn't expect to be able to answer Wilson's question so non-chalantly. However, I replied before Miss Ho even shushed him. Sigh. Bah~ Suan le...I realise i speak without thinking nowadays....I shouldn't have even replied. Mebbe a nod and a "hehe" could do. I sounded so "what's the big deal". Urgh. To me, it was a big deal. Can't blame me, i wasn't myself for almost a month. Blah~ Haish. I can't stand myself at times. Rena, you're an idiot. I can't stop feeling that way so let me be yah? Bah~ You know,lookin back, i tink i was pretty insensitive bout wat i say to you. Oh well~ Whatever. I told you, i can't stand myself at times. And now, i know i'm blabbing again..Blah blah blah~ Haix. Yeah, and like what wilson call some girls, "bitch". I think i'm beginning to feel like one. >.<>

It was then to Safra for bowling..Went home after tat. The others went ahead to Mac to chill the night. Sian, i so much wanted to go along. Can't. Mum. Interview tmr. Fatigue. Urgh....

I miss you!!!! I wanna go your house stay over!!!! Haix! Mum said you're busy "pat-to-ing" =(

Bye~ i guess i'd better go do what i need to. Or else i can forget about losing my eyebags. =.=
tata~

some hearts are meant to be broken;;

Friday, March 10, 2006

12:27 AM

Suddenly, i had this thought. "Never let your world revolve around somebody lest he/she leaves you with your world cold." Urgh. Feelin all so weezed up inside again..~ =.= Hate this feeling.
I just want to get rid of something which meant so much to me in the past. But how am i suppose to return it. Haish. Huizhen! I'll miss you!

Thinkin back on our conversation last night. I think i did hate you. I DID. Did. Tat's why those thoughts came to my mind in those previous posts.Yeah...Oh well.Bah~..Keeping something which doesn't belongs to me is makin me feel all so erm....tied up inside when i look at it. It used to be a boost-er. You told me to take it as that.Now, it just doesn't seem to work as that anymore. Instead, it just feels so out of place where i left it. Dunno how to describe the feeling but i guess, i don't wanna keep it by my side anymore. I'll find a chance to return it.I wonder when it will be but, yeah. Do whatever you want with it. It's not important anymore. Everytime i look at it it reminds me of memories i want to forget. I'm just glad you're happy now. And that everything's well. Bah~ i'm blabbering again..Bah.

Bye~Tired...

some hearts are meant to be broken;;

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

10:45 PM

Morning shift today...was nearly late...phew~reached shop at 10.44. Lol...One more Min!!! Ah liang msged me and i tot i was late lyk shyt sia...Scared me...-.- Say he at Yoshinoya...WAdda!?

Suay leh today..some high personnel of MTV Asia came by today...(he left his card, so i knew he was some dua bai~)asked for 8 pairs of socks...First thing first, don't have his size...Nvm. Second thing,Checked with other outlets, some have some don't have..Heeren,some don't have. Suntec, all new stock so don't have.Marina, no nid say, all new stock..sibeh sian...And he want to collect all of em at the same outlet...-.- Wadda?! Haish..Told him no gurantee will have then he just left his card and told me to call him...Sian...Urgh. Better ask Soon Leng to settle tmr...>.<>

I'm dreading to call Vincent tmr.Need to request for off on Mon.....Sian lar~ Hmm, Mummy told me TP called me up to go for interview on Mon at 2pm..Got Xinning to pei me go le~ =D eh..she didn't say ish interview for HTM or L&RM...=.= *pray pray pray* I wanna get into HTM!!!! *Sob* Haish...Results suck. I pray Eugan's right..."go interview surely can go in one lar..." *pray pRaY PRAY!!!* Haish. I tink I'll suck at it. =(

Ah!!! Went to Marina to help transfer goods from Plaza...Saw so many stuff i wanna get...Shyt...Adidas halter!!! Cute cute Zen skin!!!URS slipper! Blah blah blah...ah!!!! Wants!!!!

Yalar~ fat lar fat lar....sobx.

Ciao~ Full shift tmr.. >.<
[Now all that's left of me is what I pretend to be So together, but so broken up inside.]

some hearts are meant to be broken;;

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

9:31 PM

Die lar~ fat le...>.<>

Mummy and Daddy intends to go Phuket with Shihan's family.Gonna stay at Allamanda resort!!! Hiek..our family has one unit der...Wan me to go along...Haish. Sibeh sian...Still considering the options of whether to stay or to go along...Mid April...Perhaps it's good to take a hiatus...

-I'm shakin inside
-I'm just feelin oh so empty
-I don't feel like talkin to anyone.
-Not even you.

Bye~Work tmr...*bah~*

some hearts are meant to be broken;;


1:32 AM

Work was ok...Had fun~=) Met Wenhui on the train on my way to work...so qiao, met him ytd on my way home too...

Wee~ Hydil and peepx came down to visit today at Plaza!!! =D Big hug!!!! Lol...Yesh, Hydil, i know you're cute. Lol..=X

Whoever that Mr/Miss anonymous in my tagboard is, yesh, i also gina lar..tnkiew hor, say i young. (pui)...but it's my blog, i say wot i loike. Tmd...

Bye~ not in the best of moods...

some hearts are meant to be broken;;

Sunday, March 05, 2006

12:25 AM

Busy busy day at Ngee Ann City...Sibeh dulan at TFF(try for fun) customers....Shitty. 2 small gina girls come try tennis stuff...Ask if need help don't answer...Knn..donno English isit. Fuck these youngsters who don't even have the slightest bit of courtesy to reply a "yes" or "no"...Rude..Donno wot their schools teach them in school during moral education lessons...*rolls eyes*

Forgive me, just feeling kinda pissed today...

Met dearest Qing at Plaza Sing for supper after work...

Gonna be at Plaza from tmr till 22nd...Fun fun! My fav workin place! Hiek~

Haish..feeling fuckin sianx now..Sian as in, not bored...just...haish. Fuckin empty, fucking guilty, fucking helpless...just needed someone to tok to..but it just seems that nobody clsoe is available....Haish...Empty...empty...empty~ People whom i used to be close to have been drifting apart..Some, i know are always there for me but won't understand how i'm feeling now. People i used to confide so much in are no longer there for me. Haish. I wanted to call up someone but i hung up after dialing the number. Just seems so wrong calling him up after so long. It just seems wrong keeping close contact with him lar.I guess, all barriers are set, i don't wanna give anyone the wrong impressions or some other stupid ideas..And perhaps, it's just the wrong time to call.. Haix. Fuck lar. I'm still oh so alone after all these while i guess i'll have to get use to it. Fuck this loneliness inside me.

I thought i won't feel worse when i come online..Fuck. Who noes wat.

Why do you have to misunderstand what i meant?! Fuck. It's all my fault. Fine. I made you sound like a jerk of some kind? Fine. *shrugs* Judge me how you like.Say what you want. I DON'T FUCKIN WANNA GIVE A DAMN ANYMORE.

Tata ppl...I'd rather have a tiny little cry tonight than have people probing about what happened now..
[Ah choo~*sniff sniff]

some hearts are meant to be broken;;

Saturday, March 04, 2006

2:43 PM

Sibeh sian...Yesterday only worked for 4 hours nia..Vincent said there was lack of manpower at Suntec then told me to go there. In the end got 4 ppl in the bloody small shop there. WTF. Waste my time and effort travel there to just work for 4 hours. Slacked there lar..Nobody de...Got to know new collegues. Lol. At this rate if i'm posted to each and every outlet of Nike active, I'll get to know all the staff in the department! Lol..=D I'm only left with Heeren's Nike active outlet...Got a hunch i'll get posted there soon....-.-

O yeah...ytd was so funny.
1st case: I was soh-ing at Suntec outlet ytd...(work lar...but nobody, so soh round the shop tok cock with collegues) Suddenly this cute and tall lookin guy came into our shop( Hi welcome!!)with his erm..supposingly rather haggard lookin Dad...Hmm...Tried on our limited edition of Nike Dunks. My fellow collegue was serving him actually de...then i was standing just beside her...Lol..(swoon~*he's real cute i tell you, not local though,was secretly bio-ing him. =X) My collegue went, "Hi sir, can i help you? Lookin for shoes?"
"Oh yea, erm, can i try on a size 9?" The thing was, he didn't tell my collegue that, he told me and i was totally chinked out i tell you when he came up to me and handed me the bloody shoe.
Collegue went," Oh sure sir"
"Yeah, I need a size 9(smiles~)" to me!!!!! wth?!
It was obvious that he wants me to serve. Began wondering if he was a mystery shopper sent to spy on my performance at that instant~ -.- I hope i not so suay man...Cos if he is, then i would have done badly...(shyt)Guess wot, i didn't even smile. =.=

Lol, in the end, my collegue was so jealous she said, " Walan eh!!! Cute guy don't even wanna look at me sia! Bloody hell...Fuck.You lucky girl!!!" (pinches my cheek~) ERpx.

Oh my, if he's really a mystery shopper, i don't think she'll consider herself suay anymore..-.-

2nd case:
This slim, long haired girl came into the shop with her friend. Then she saw me,gave the "O.O" look and came straight up to me and said, "ah! YOu very cute leh!!!! Exchange numbers kk??You really very cute lor!!! " *blur*
I went, "Huh?!" and excused myself to serve a customer.
I finally got to know that she actually worked at this Suntec outlet before,she just resigned, she's the famous Ruby everyone was talkin about...Lol. She came up to me for the second time and wanted to exchange numbers so we could hang out one day...-.- Ermx..
"Why you now den get posted here!!! Ni hao ke ai!!!!!!!" ERpx....*shudder*
(eh, cute = ugly but adorable lar so..yeah...concluded ugly.>.<)

Left workplace at 5 with no where else to go. Called Daryl but he never pick up the phone nor return my call...Idiot. =X In the end met dearest Stephy at her workplace..Waited for her to knock off at 7. Met Xinning and her bf for dinner at Pasta...Lol..Her boyfriend's name ish Eric leh!!! Same as my Nike Women's manager's name lor!!! =X

It was then back to Tampines Pavilion for pool...Jun Wei, Alvin, Daryl(tan) came along...Bah...Met Joshua, Henry and Stephen there too~ It was home after dat...yAwnX...REached home bout 11.30 and couldn't get to sleep after dat...Urgh.

Sianx. Oh yea, forgot to mention, got my posting results ytd...Got posted to my 2nd choice...Business Lom/Logistics/Marketing at TP(same as Qing!)..Guess i'll go try appeal for my first choice on the 7th...Haish..Sibeh sian. *pray*

Ciao~ got work later at Ngee Ann city...yAWnx...{
[Somehow i just feel like dancing the night away. It's just so difficult to know that i shouldn't be feeling this way i am about you. I was so fucking wrong.]

some hearts are meant to be broken;;

Thursday, March 02, 2006

11:59 PM

Squash...Gym...Workout~ =) At Yio Chu Kang...So far hor? Hmm...must find somewhere nearer next time to play liaox...Pictures tells a thousand words...There you go...The action at squash. Qing and mui~

Chun Hoong~

And yesh...it's been ages since i've last done some photo whoring...I look stupid...I know...

Smack!!!!!


After freshening up! On 72~


And before i knew it..~ i fell aslp on the bus...Zzz~ Met Daryl and Hakim for dinner and pool. Home...Got work tmr..Sianx half lar~ Haish. Will be at Suntec~ Ciao~


some hearts are meant to be broken;;

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

9:09 PM

Hiek. Bowling was changed from 1.30 to 2.30pm...=p Because i woke up late...Actually can make it de wor! But i went back to sleep...=p Been so long i've last played bowling. 80 points was my highest score today...Wah, not bad le k, after so long never play still can at least get 80...=D

Watched Final Destination 3 with Qing after dat. Plot was pretty simple. Won't say it is a very good show...Ok nia bah...Gore scenes were disgusting. Loads of blood. Loads of bloody spurts. Ew~ Show bout how premonitions come true. Repercussions...Do they really happen? Oh well, I just find the actor in the show pretty cute..~ =p Ryan Merriman(Kevin) ..*swoons~* I love his smile~ =)

There're so many movies i wanna watch can?! Rumour Has it..The Pink Panther...Underworld Evolution(why must it be fuckin M18!!!! ) and Big Momma's House 2. Urgh.

Now for something more on the touchy side~And deep~And something i don't understand..I'm just blabbing so dear bloggie, fogive me.

Do you call it love when you let him/her go even when you can't bear to and bring yourself to believe that "i should let someone go if i love him/her and when he comes back to you, it's meant to be"? Or is it love when you try so hard to win him/her over despite getting broken hearted over the rejections over and over again? A thin line between hate and love. I'm totally puzzled at how love should be. Have been blog hoppin after being on the phone with my cousin and came across a few of which kept me thinkin. How do you know if you really love someone? How do you judge people who loves you but not otherwise? Are there really more than one special person you would say 'i love you' to in your whole life(other than family)? If you've said those three words to your perhaps, 10th girlfriend in 3 months. Do you really mean it? Or did you just say it cos, you feel that you should or cos you know your girl loves hearing you tell em you love her to bits? If it's so easy to give up on someone you claimed you love, what does love stands to you if you let her go? If it's so difficult to be together with someone you claimed you love, why hold on to it and let her think you're such a hindrance? Fuck Love. It just makes you hate someone and love him at the same time you'll feel like killing yourself thinking about it.

It's just too complicated. No offence, but i just can't understand what's with people who're so eager to get themselves hitched. They end up being together with some people they barely understand. They end up being together with someone they've barely known for long. Call it love at first sight. But fuck it. I dont believe in it.Ok. Used to. Now to me it's just plain infatuation that'll fade after a while..I admit, I too have been infatuated with people ever since my previous relationship.But no, i just find it not right to be together with someone i don't love and that i can't be sure to give my all and make sacrifices for that someone anymore.. I don't understand how some people can get so head over heels with someone you've liked for so long, call it love, claim you love him/her. You then end up with someone else you've known for a few days not long after and tell me you've gotten over that someone you cried so much for. Yeah, right, call it love and it's so easily gotten over. To me, perhaps it's just plain desperation to find a companion. And as we all know, these type of relationships don't last.Quarrels, disagreements,silence(cos you got no common interest) fill up your days spent with one another. "I love You" have become words which are such good pacifiers people don't take them as seriously saying them now.

Ah...I dunno wot i'm talkin bout lar...Thoughts are all over the place, and so are the words...My cousin called. Just made me sibeh pissed off with her boyfriend. -.- Tat's why i'm writing all these stuff i don't understand when i read back. Oh well...bah...forgive me. And yesh baby, sleep it off oki? It'll be alright tmr...I know he'll call tonight.

Out to exercise tmr~Hur~ Lose the pounds baby!

Ciao~*


some hearts are meant to be broken;;


12:51 AM

Yay!!!! No work for 3 days!!! Schedule's not out yet...Finally! Rest! Sleep! Work out! Shopping? Lol. I'm so lookin forward to the upcomin 3 days of rest. Been workin my butt off these few days i can't even seem to catch up on my beauty sleep.

Setup is complete!!! Tmr's the opening of Topshop/topman/adidas(active)/nike(sports culture/active) at Marina...=D I wanna work at Marina!!Like so nice like dat leh!!! >.<>.<>

Had lunch with Vincent (Nike active shop manager) lar...Sian! Aaron(another aaron, not the Fila one) 'chabot' lar! He talked loads lar..didn't know there were so many internal conflicts within Wingtai. Got to know a few confidential stuff lar..Made me wonder why he was willing to tell me all those shyt when i'm just a part-timer. -.- He got bloody agitated can...told me stuff bout his staff, his buyer, etc lar...Lol, then he said, " Keep to yourself ah! Dont tell ah!" . Diao, wonder if he regretted tellin me all those...Bah...by tmr i think i'll forget everything he told me liaox sia...Who cares *shrugs* Hmm, realised that so many of the Nike staff smoke. Liew~ Cannot tahan the smell. >.<

Work ended bout 9pm...Went to Suntec for dinner with dearest Qing. Then it was home sweet home...Guess that's all for today bah...Meeting Qing for bowling tmr...It's been ages since i've last went bowling lor!!!! My score's gonna suck lyk wot tmr...Lol. =D Then it'll be to Novena for Piero interview...I'm beginning to think that i'm overestimating myself for wantin to take up two jobs...Oh well, we'll see how it goes...The boss wants us to go over and help him~ We'll see bout that...They're involved in event sales at Expo..Guess they need staff urgently bah...

tata~*

some hearts are meant to be broken;;