Thursday, December 22, 2005
8:36 PM
Read. Don't Ask. Don't probe.
[rena blasted: i need you]
I can't explain how things went yesterday. I'm totally fucked up and still feeling fuckin low. Tmd. You don't know me no more. I couldn't stand myself and broke down hard last nite.Cried myself to sleep. Fuck. How i wished i've never ever met you. I was totally wrong about everything and now, i guess i'm back to hating myself again. Shyt. Take everything back. Including ur fucking good impression u've left on me. Trust me, i won't treat you the same anymore.Isaac was right. I'm too kind. Fuck. I hate you for lying. I hate you for treating me right. I hate you for being able to treat as if everythin would be ok. Fuck. I hate you.
I jus dont understand why must these things happen again when things have been ok for so long. This is shyt man. I wanna runaway again. Runaway to somewhere or to someone who would definitely be able to assure me that things would be alright once i brave it through once again, and that he/she would walk it through with me. Fuck. How can that be possible.
Someday i'll finally understand the meaning of being able to forgive and forget. Becus at the moment rite now, i can't forgive, and no, i'll nver forget wat you did to ruin me and cause me to be in this fucking state rite now.
To special someone: I'm terribly sorry. I did you so much wrong and i know i won't be able to reciprocate everything. Jus don't care too much about me. Tat's all i'm askin. The best, just draw a distance. Pls. This is the END. Stop askin why i reject your calls. YOu got the message and you know wat i hate.
Ace: Good luck bro. I mean it.=)
How i wished someone would jus kill me. Fuck. Urgh...
Met up with Zend just now after meeting up with Eugene,Hakim, Freda and Daryl. It's been so long since i've met him. He's changed loads. Lol. Had fun talkin to him bout his aherm! "experiences"...lol. I guess i'll miss his prescence. He's a crazy guy to tok to. I miss his craziness. Zend if you do read this, do know i love you for who you are. Take good care of yourself. Ur sista here would be here for you yeah? =)
All piao kias are low...fuck. WTF is happening.
[i wanna know where do i really belong]
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
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