Tuesday, November 01, 2005
10:41 PM
My mind is in a blur. My limbs feel numb and weak. I felt crappy about myself all day. I didn't know i gave people that kind of impression.I was happy to see you. But I felt lyk cryin after seeing those msgs. I felt lyk crap.Maligned. Total rubbish. You made me feel bitchy. Right. I am a bitch. Fuck it.
Weaving stories to grab attention? It never crossed my mind. I don't need it from you.I fucking don't need it from anyone now. I spoke the truth. A simple gesture.Just friends,I won't hope for more.My heart's dead. I didn't lie. Swear. However, if you think i'm such a person, i just have to tell you, you don't know me well enough. I'm upset. I'm pissed. I'm , well, whatever.It doesn't matter anymore.I'm tired of always having to explain things and end up feeling miserable. I shall not harp on it, or i'd be portrayed as an "attention seeker" again. Fuck. Fuck it. Fuck me. I'm shit. the whole of me. Damn.
I suppressed those feelings for the whole day.It was terrible. I exploded while walking home. I slammed the door in my mum's face. Fuck. I never do the right things do it?
Ps:
Stephie:i'm sorry stephie, i just wasn't in the right mood...Tnx for "pei-ing" wo today...I wouldn't know how my day would be like without you.
Joshua: Ok. No pinching.
Isaac: Ok. Sorry for being late. Now you know the reason why i shoo-ed you off at the entrance. I'm sorry. And thank you...
[Fucked up]
[I keep tryin to find my way, but everywhere i go, i get so confused]
some hearts are meant to be broken;;