Tuesday, October 11, 2005
8:25 PM
I've haven been able to concentrate for these two days...Loads av been on my mind and i can't pour em out to anyone...It feels terrible this way....It's been almost a month.Too many people have been reminding me of stuff i don't wanna think of. It's definitely not easy and to tell the truth, things didn't get better as time passed by... I guess i've overestimated myself. I cried myself silly last nite. Zits are popping out due to lack of sleep. -.- I re-read the msgs in the morning at school one by one...After much thinking....I tink.....
I'm beginning to hate myself more...
Steph:
I'm sorry, i knew we've drifted apart lately...And i haven been caring about you as much compared to before.I guess, things have changed i don't dare to trust anybody as much as before anymore. I can't relate as much stuff to anyone just like how i could before. I can't bring myself to do it, don't ask me why. Please don't resort to silly thoughts and actions to hurt urself ok? I know you're goin thru a rough time as well, but do know there are people around who love you! I love you too! Don't do anything to hurt yourself! I'm guilty of it in the past, and now, when i look back, i blame myself even more for doin such silly things to myself. I wanted people to care, but the thing is, they never realised what i did was to gain their attention. The pain seems to fade away in an instant but you know it deep down inside that the hurt inflicts even more on you...All of us friends love you!!!!
Mum:
I'm sorry i left the house in a huff after quarreling with you that day, i wasn't in a good mood and i guess i've went too far...I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to let you worry. I jus wanted to have some space on my own for some time....I'm sorry i let daddy and you worry. I swear i won't do it ever again. I promise. T.T
Wb:
I'm sorry. I can't fulfill the promise i made to you.So far,I've tried hard. I can't. It's been a month. It's not easy, but i'll continue to trust and try... I hate putting on a brave front in front of you and tell you i'm doing fine.And i know you don't want me to lie either. It's not me. It's difficult. Sometimes foolish tots drive me up the wall, i wish a car would someday run me over. No, no sucidal tots. Just a statement. Don't worry...
Friends:
peepx, i really wanna thank you guys for caring...I'm sorry,I've been acting rather outta sorts lately...But i'll be me again in no time! I love u all!
The days are getting harder to pass by....It's till 9pm tmr...and off to dinner after dat at night. The journey way home has become such a chore...I'm tired....I'm drained....I'm...."life- less"...(or wotever u call that) I wanna go for a movie....!!! T.T
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
.View Friendster Acc.