;i keep up with a fake smile.Do you ever notice?



I FAKE A SMILE ALL THIS WHILE

DID YOU EVER REALISE?

It's me.So what?
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting .View Friendster Acc.
*Rena Heng
*aka Tiny,Nana
*17*
*30/5/89*
*TP,Hospitality and Tourism*
*PRSS,QNPS*

Her world revolves around...
*her friends
*family
*you
*her lovelies =3
*clubs
*drinking
*shopping
*bitching
*freedom

BEWARE,SHE SNAPS
I'm not who you think i really am. Don't like reading wat's here? Buzz off. =)
DO NOT JUDGE ME,period.

HER WANTS
*New navel stud*
*plain bikini*
*Waist belt*
*A pair of flats*
*Grey/white off shoulder*
*tan*
*Vintage dress*
*New phone*


THE ONES

Abigail
Adler
Arjuna
Audrina
Alpharian
Alvin
Boon Ern
Daphne
Daryl
Dixon
de-bonbons
Eugene
Genevieve
Hailing
Hakim
Hidayu
Hisa
Idy
Jacquelin
Jeslyn
Jingxuan
Justin
Jie Hui
Karen
Kok Sheng
Letitia
Pauline
Quan Zhang
Qiao
Royston
Stephanie
Shihan
Siok Wen
Sihan
Wei Li
Wei Jie
Weslie
Xiuqing
Yi ting
Yiwen
Yu Heng
Zhiyi
Zhu Xiaoming
Ziying
CUT THE CRAP

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TUCKED AWAY

Monday, October 31, 2005

11:44 PM

Yak Yak Yak!!!

Second post of the day...
ok...my 'dulan-ness' is gone~ WEE!!!
-2 English trials
-2 POA exam trials
urgh...little. T.T
Continuous muggin tmr! Erm...somewhere... Chiong ah!!! T.T


I love the feeling of bringin home a lot of food! And Stephie darl and i did that for lunch...Lol!
-chicken pasta
-fruits
-fresh milk
-fried tofu
-fried salted chicken
EAT EAT EAT!!! Zhu arhx! =p Hur hur~~! Oink Oink*!


A tale of the Burger King personnel and I...LOl!
Hiek. He's cute. No, not the manager(seems like he's in also in his teens) who looks like WEslie..No, not the Indian man who fry fries in the kitchen, No, not the other nerdy Chinese guy. Yes! It's the cute guy who looked so silly when he said " can i help you, miss" when i was queuing up beside his counter. Hur. I 'dao-ed' him,pretended not to see and he was so paiseh! Another young girl walked passed and she also 'dao-ed' him can?! Hao ke lian! Lol, in the end when i walked over to his counter and placed my order, i dare not look at him directly larh! No, not dat he was too cute to lay my eyes upon, but i scared i look at him jiu laff! Lol~His expression was so funni lar!~ I was practically trying to control myself and stop laffin when he delivered the fries. LOL!
So cute lar!!! He's really cute, ask Steph. Lol. Yiwen, i tink she'll like him. Muahahax! =p
-.- ok, i sound so mesmerised. I'M NOT! =p
Another ki siaox day. Laffed our heads off the whole time at BK. Ji tao ppl see two siaoz zabors there. Muahaha!!! I'm high on sugar, Stephie's high on carbo...WAhaha! But in comparison, i'm the more ki siaox one.. At least i'm sweet oki!!! .=X


Proceeded to the park to slack the rest of the night away till 9.30pm after dat...Been so long since both of us went there to yak yak liaox...Bitched about loads of stuff...blah blah blah..Erm... certain contents are NC16. Lol!~ So i shall not elaborate...Hiek~ miss these sessions...Talked about changes and what are the 10 things we want to do most in our lives.One of mine is diving!.Hur hur! It's been 4 years of friendship...We're both sure of one thing, we'll both change once we get into poly and we'll change together! Party animals???!!! *evil laughter reigns*


Boo~Nana's dead tired. Guess tat's all for the day...


[Guo qu jiu yi cheng wei guo qu, dan shi, wei she mei wo hai bu neng ba ni wan wan quan quan de wang diao...]
It's gotta be another ending i wished for all this while~I guess, i never really knew myself...
some hearts are meant to be broken;;

9:56 AM

[Wo hao xiang wang diao, wei he fan nao...wo hao xiang dui ni wei xiao,dui ni shuo, wo hen hao]

Woot~ it's nine plus in the morn and i'm already up! Hur~ Decided to blog while waitin for Stephie to arrive at my house....Muggin time all day till 8+ tonite. Sian 1/2 -.-
Less than a week left to Os!!!!!
Jia you everyone! To my friends retaking their MT and taking their HMT exams today, good luck wor!
*Rena prays to whatever god there is above for you guys*!!!!!
Luckily i have one subject lesser to care about since i'm not retaking my MT, or else i wouldn't know how to manage my timetable liaox...=p


Received an mms from Henry yesterday. Lol!!! The picture of Stephen botak! Wakaka! He cut botak leh!!! LOL! Tio shocked when i saw the pic can?! Looks so erm..."army". Hehe. Can't find any other descriptions liaox....=p Wakakax.


My hair's falling. T.T Gosh. Shyt. Guess it must be because i've been eating instant noodles for the past few days . If i continue eating jiu must go YuN NaN JiAn Fa zHonG XinG le~!!! I have been pretty lazy so i just cook instant noodles when i'm alone at home....I shall be guai this week and buy proper meals for myself before all my hair really falls out from eating too much MSG!!! More water! More proper meals! More sleep! I have to learn to love myself!!!


BB! Off to breakfast!


[Wo hao xiang kan zhe ni wei xiao]
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Sunday, October 30, 2005

11:05 PM

SIBEH DULAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
T.T
some hearts are meant to be broken;;

1:48 PM

Not a very good day for a start...Splitting headache. Slept at 6 in the morn...WAtched a Chinese show till 3 last nite... Couldn't sleep after dat.I just stared blankly at the ceiling while my aunt was sound asleep somehwere near..Found myself crying silly until i finally managed to fall to asleep at 6+ clutching my plushie tight...I cried silently, for i feared being heard.It was a terrible feeling. Lots of things revolved in my mind last night...I tried to put them out of thought but it kept coming back to me. Now, i'm feeling all so empty and overwhelmed with all sorts of emotions. Not forgetting, puffy eyes from crying has made things even worse. Everything's coming back to me again. Damn. I told myself i have to put everything behind me till Os are over. I have to. Or i'll lose even more. I did something silly this morning. I put 2 fotos together and drew something over it... tat is, i wasn't in any of them. I laughed at myself upon thinking about what i did. I wish someone can slap me awake now... Shyt me.


How i wish I could sleep the day away today...


["hush hush, don't you cry..." your last words.]
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Saturday, October 29, 2005

10:39 PM

wtf. My mum had to ruin my day. Knn~ Shouted me the moment i got home. WTF's wrong wif her damn it! Kaox. Cousin jio wo go Fisherman Village chill...She go there drink -.-...I guai,don't drink...go home. And tat was what i fucking got. Tmd...T.T


Went to tp study today...Chionged poa..realised i donno how to do disposal a/c...T.T I need Ms Lye's help badly!!! T.T


I feel like a glutton can?! I feel so guilty about stuffin myself today...
1) cup noodles
2) ice cream
3) suan mei tang
4) salad
5) subway
6) voda-voda!!!water lar...
7) ice tea
8) cheese biscuits


Junk food. Urgh. I feel like puking now....T.T


It was "act cute day". LOL. Blah blah...


No mood update le~ Shytty bom bom!!!!!!!!!!!! T.T BB~ off to chong liangx~
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Friday, October 28, 2005

9:50 PM

boo!!!!!!!!!!!! lemme tell eu something....


EUGENE YEO MAKE ME CRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T.T sob!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =X


Waah~!!! I wanna slp more my mummie today woke me up at 11+ T.T...snorex snorex...Had a dream...hur~ i shall keep the contents of it to myself. It was weird how i could continue the dream lor....I woke up at about 6am, den i went back to sleep and the dream can continue de wor! =S Hmm...weird eh? Ain't something pleasant that is...-.- Haix


Took a walk at Pasir Ris Park wif fang today.Talk loads...Walked loads...Slacked loads...Wind blow blow blow....till i look like feng zi when we left. Lol. I got a shock of my life when i saw how messy my hair was when i reached my lift and looked into the mirror...LOL!

Saw so many children at the playground...Saw this especially cute lil ang moh boy clad in a red T-shirt. He so cute can?!! Felt like pinching his cheek. So hao dong lar!I wanna have a son like him next time! =X Muahahha. His elder brother was wif him. Looks British leh...Hmm...Whatever..~ =p


The following msg is to a special someone:
Hmm, know you've been through a lot. You shouldn't be thinking about him now. Forget about the "woo-ing" thing. I feel like shaking you awake when you told me that. He's attached now for goodness sake! He's not who you think he is. Stop telling me you're desperate. Stop telling me how bad you want him back. Stop telling me that you still want him back although he's attached. Sighx. It's not worth the love you hold for him. He's not worth it! He's the despo one! You know it! Yearning for what's not meant to be won't do you good my dear...Sighx.


Nth special for todae~It's to tp wif stephie tmr! Coffee and erm...cup noodles anyone!!?? =p
tata!


[wo fa jue wo zhen de bian le.......]
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Thursday, October 27, 2005

9:58 PM

More zits!!! WAaH!!!~ sobx! *slams head onto table* WAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!T.T
I shall sleep the shit outta me tonight...decided not to go to school tmr...Downing loads of water....feeling sick. =( Am sick. =(( Shouldn't av eaten so much. I feel fat.Ew~flabby arms...
-.- I feel queasy. -.- Urgh. Er xin de bubble tea..~ Thou shall not buy from that stall animore!!!! =S


Mummy's off day tmr...hiek, go out wif her in the afternoon den go home study SS....-.-
Completed 4 English trial exam papers,1 sci paper and an essay qn today.


Sometimes i wished he'd just fuck off and leave my darl alone...shyt him. Knn~ She'll be better off without you. I was wrong to think dat you'll change for the better being together with her. WTF. Give attitude. Treat her lyk some kinda chu qi tong isit! Kaox. Xiang le jiu qi!!!Sighx, but nvm...darling, do what you tink is right and best for you bah...you know we'll definitely be behind you de...^.^ By the way,I'm cursing guys in my mind now. They make girls lose faith in falling in love again when they've fallen too hard...Betrayal...blah blah...-.- Wotever~ i'm crappin. Bu yao li wo~ =p


Below's one part of the lyrics of the song by Vanessa Carlton...nice song neh! Credits to my dear ziqi for sending me this song...=p


A thousand miles
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by
Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you tonight
It's always times like these
When I think of you
And wonder if you ever think of me
Cause everything's so wrong and I don't belong
Living in your precious memory
Cause I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by, oh
Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you tonight
And I, I don't wanna let you know
I, I drown in your memory
I, I don't wanna let this go
I, I don't


Bye~more updates tmr! tata~ Muackies.

[Ai rang ren shou jin wei qu~wo ba yi han de jie ju ting zai zhe li...yong bao de gan jue he wen nuan yi jing jian jian shi qu. Xing li xiang zhe hui bu hui zai yong you ni.Gu shi hui bu hui zai ji xu...]
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Wednesday, October 26, 2005

8:42 PM

[there's just no rhyme or reason, but i see it in your eyes. I know that it might sound crazy, but i'll continue to believe. There are some things i don't wanna question. I have been waiting for it all these while. However when I finally found it, i lost it.]


Parents' de anniversary today...They went out to pat tor~watch movie wor...So sweet. =( I really admire those couples who have been married to each other for over 20 years and still can remain so en ai de...I know of a friend's parents who always go catch movies during weekends de,hold hands somemore... So sweet lor~ My parents only go out once in a blue moon together.
O ya. Cousin's getting married soon...on 27th of Nov...congrats to her...Ben's a great guy...=) Hope you've finally found 'the one' ya? =D


So many ppl around me facing probs wif relationships all of a sudden. Diaox.
-.- Erh...I'm not a love expert, my advices are not ke kao de...Lol. Relationships to me now are a nono. There are far more important stuff i have to accomplish in this phase of my life for now. Exams!
Ermx, after that...-.- i guess it's not important anymore... =(
Lol...Liyana ask mi find a boyfriend to pass time after Os. Dortx!!! She say she 1 yr no bf le! Lol! No worries yana darl~you'll find ur guy in no time...if you can't find, no worries, you'll have me for company! LOL! =p=p


Gosh, i took out my hmk list and jus realised that i have tons to complete. Damn it. Off i go to chong liangx! Muggin later~ REstin early! DArk rings becoming more obvious~ It's from 6.45am to 9pm for tmr! -.- *seh~*


O ya, before i forget, *aherm! Fuck off you bastard. How dare you scold my darling lyk dat. Knn~ Tell her shut up, why don't you just try to shove your ass up your mouth instead. That's what do you call shut up.


Sorry for the vulgarities...cough cough* BB!!!
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Tuesday, October 25, 2005

9:10 PM

Knn~! Bloody fuckin noisy neighbour. Shout shout wat ah! -.- She kp for one over hour liaox, dunno shouting at who siah~! %^&*@ I called the security guard to ask her to shut up...=p Cannot tahan. It's all peace and quiet now... *Hur~!


My mood's been on a rollercoaster ride these days.. Dunno what's happening also. Nono. Not pms..it's something else....Haix.


Received our art O level paper today....exactly two weeks in advance. ART. -.- Sick of it already. Gonna rush some out tmr night. Hopefully.

I collapsed on the sofa when i reached home at 8+ just now while waiting for dinner...Tired till jialatt can?! Wondering if i should still go to school and study tmr...It's been 1am sleep, 6am wake up...-.- Haven been doin much these few days. I'm relishing moments of staring into space when i'm school nowadays..Wtf. I can start the day with "Oh! I must study today! Must complete blah blah blah...." and by afternoon, i'll be slackin the rest of the hours away, wasting my time on one bloody stupid essay question for 1 over hours. At the end, i'll start feeling guilty for not completing what i should have done. -.- Suddenly my path seems bleak. I don't know what i'm workin so hard for anymore. It has been an ardous task pushing myself to work harder these days. It's just 12 days away!!! WAAHH!!! T.T I shall coop myself in the library if i go back to school to study from now on...Sighx. Must ping le!!!!!!!! (there i go again...telling myself to bia~ but at the end, nothing would be done...Sighx. Shyt me) *low*


Sighx, i've not been a good friend. I haven been around for you when you needed a listening ear. I just realised i pang seh you a lot nowadays. I just realised we haven met for long. I didn't knew you were goin thru so much. Fuck it. I'm not a good friend.Sorries won't be enuff. =( Fuck Me~


I'm not a good friend, i'm not a good girlfriend, i'm not a good daughter. WTF am i good at. Yea. You got the answer. NOTHIN.


I'm trash....I'm sick of whining. I'm sick of myself already.
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Monday, October 24, 2005

10:20 PM

Lol! re-edited! Hur~!

Two words. BLOODY TIRED. Slept for only 4 hrs since last nite. Shit. Flu coming back to haunt me....T.T
I admit i haven been taking good care of myself...Lol. Fried food, late dinner,sleeping late, blah blah...-.- I thought i treated myself very well, but after these few days,I realised i don't really love myself newae...Have dark eye rings, flu, no energy, more zits popping out. Sobx! -.- Gonna go home early on Wed...Mummy's off day! Goodie! Got soup to drink...Muahah~Bu bu shen zi~ wo yao bian xiong mao le...MeoW~erm..no,...ermx...nvm...


Pasta Mania for dinner...Lame jokes...=.= Lol~ RAcist Sia joshua....=p=p No appetite. I'm beginning to feel guilty for stuffing myself these days...EAt a lot nor! Study jiu keep eating non-stop...Must control le!!! Or else become fei zhu! oInk~*


Uncanny resemblance~ Haix. =(


(adapted from Kelly Clarkson's Because of You)
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you I am afraid


I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with


I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing


Guess wot! Met Kai wor! Said hi...He not as 'dao' as before le...! O.O


I walked a lonely road...~~~Gosh, needed a shoulder so badly on my way home on 3 i nearly lay my head on the person beside me...Lol! But i nver hor...i lean against the window der nia~ Xiao shuai ge wor! Baby face...at first he donno where to sit down cos all the seats 1 person sit le~, den after dat, he say, "ah... den he sit beside me...lol! He sha siao summore nor! -.- " more ppl startin to tok to themselves lately...Zi bi~

Hao jiu mei you le yi kao~ emptiness within me i can't describe...


OoH~laAla~
countdown! 13 more days!!! Sumbody save me....
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Sunday, October 23, 2005

10:48 PM

Just came home...Accomplishment? Little. T.T only completed humans question and read up on countries divided..blah blah....=(
Slacked at 800+ TWCC Mac...proceeded to 830 where Henry joined us in our slacking session...Lol. Played with Boxer(qing qing's doggie). Was already 6pm when Boxer had to go home...=( Century Square food court for dinner...I didn't order Korean food for once! muahaha.~ The ban mian i ordered got so much MSG!!! I no lyk! bleh~


Location: Century Square new opened neoprint shop
-neos
-Deep in thought =(


Location: Tampines Mall
-Met someone familiar.
-Soccer friend.
-Deep in thought =(


Location: Times Bookshop
-Title:One to have and one to hold
-Deep in thought =(


Location:Royal Sporting House
-Adidas
-Deep in thought =(


Location: Metro
-Valerie, Charlie
-Deep in thought =(


Location: Small mac
-Mc Flurry ice-cream
-Deep in thought =(


Location: Bus 3
-went home with henry
-deep in thought =(


Location: Blogspot
-deep in thought ="( =( ="( =(


Wtf's happening...T.T
I'm off...bye...
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Saturday, October 22, 2005

9:39 PM

Daddy bought a big tub of ice cream for me! And also, a huge bar of Cadbury almond chocolate. Woot. I got a feelin he's tryin to fatten me up... T.T Well, i couldn't resist the temptation...lol! FAtty bom bom!!! =S


I'm dead bored stayin at home...packed my files and sorted out all wkshts. -.- completed 1 chem wksht... Wow...how great an achievement is dat...-.- Sighx...I've wasted one day...Studyin out tmr...same place...Tampines West CC mac. Hopefully i'll be able to do more..pls come visit...lol!


I need a haircut badly....Saving up to go to Kimage!!! Muahaha! Va va VooM! =X


Gosh, i'm beginning to 'stone' too...how am i gonna spend the night....=(
Ring me up anytime..i'm so bored i could die...tata~ peace out! V
some hearts are meant to be broken;;

1:55 PM

[Please give me the proper respect...becos i knew you did it. Where did you get the nerve, to even think that you could play me wrong. You thought i was in the dark, but the fact is i knew it all along. Get it in ur head, i've played this game for long. I don't wanna hear your lies. Nothing of it, no more. Please.]
I just don't understand. Forget about clearing up the mess. I had enuff of the lies you gave.I don't want be a loser. I just wanna be me again. Me.


Woke up with a headache..guess i slept too late and woke up too late...URgh. Feeling terrible...Saturday le...sighx...I'm stuck at home.

It's ironic how i can try to console my friend when i'm not feeling any better.But newae, i'll still do it. Sighx, Zhiyi, if you read this, just know we care...You've seen it for yourself, i didn't lie. You've read it, you know how it's like now...Don't bother crying over something that isn't worth it after so long. It hurts, i know.It's hard, i know. However, you gotta pull urself together. You were the one who made the decision, so don't cry over it. This may sounds crude, but i still have to say it. I'm sorry. You're upset over it now, but he may be out for the day enjoying his time with his friends...You made the decision, so stick with it. It's the crucial part of the year...2 weeks to big Os. You can't afford to think about all these stuff now...especially when you know it's not goin to work out again afterall. You can think about it all day after exams and nobody will stop you from doing so.My shoulders will always be always available de.Believe me, i'll cry with you if need be...=) It's definitely not worth thinking so much about it now. Nobody's gonna change anything even if you keep thinking bout it day and night. It was also this little part of determination within me that kept me goin after so long till now.It has been my friends who kept me goin after all these while. I believe your determination is strong too, you got great friends around you...so keep living life your style...=) Good luck for Os...^.^ Turn all sorrow into energy to fight the war that is!!! I'm with you gurl~


[Qi shi wo bu xiang dao bie...but it's time to put things all aside for now...100% concentration on Os!]
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Friday, October 21, 2005

10:59 PM

[Cus i can't breathe,no i can't sleep,i'm barely hanging on, i'm torning into pieces...It's killing me...these voices in my head are mine alone...]


The weekends have once again arrived...Phew...-.-
Two more weeks! Let's start counting down man!!!Boo. *palms head*


Met Luvena and Yi Siang with their friends outside the MRT station today....He say i shou le!!! Lol~ I never jian fei! I zheng fei le!!! But he still say i shou le hen duo!!! -.- OMG~does dat mean I WAS FAT???!!!~~ i can't gain anymore...later i will become fei zhu de!!! Say no to flabby arms, fat thighs, and 'spare tyres'!!! LOL!!! Luvena jie still as cute as ever...wootsie~~~Hen duo ren zhui orh....=p=p


Wakakax..Qing Qing , Yi Yi (angelia) and i made our way to TM to get our clips! Muahaha! Yi Yi and mine ish the same colour de...the others ish same pattern but different colour!!!All five of us (including Sharon and Siok Wen)have the same clips now!!! yay~
Qing Qing, Yi Yi, ShaSha,WenWen and NaNa!!! =X *peace! V*
I'm falling in love with the pair of converse shoes we saw today....!!!! I want!!! 70 bucks...Yi Yi and I will get the red ones!!! WEeHeE!Well, i'm preparing to go for a big shopping spree after Os!!! Mummy's sponsoring my clothes for prom...cousin's wedding's on 27th Dec...so can shun bian wear for two occasions!! Not forgetting my espadrilles!!! *jumps around!*

Watched Qing Wa Wang Zi today....hur~not bad lar...the actors quite shuai neh. From 183 club de~ Quite touching nor~


Watched the news just now...Concerning the old lady who was found lying unconsious at the foot of the flat where she lived. Hmm, happens to be someone my friend knows...My friend suspected the maid threw the granny down.The maid's charged for murder. Knn~ Less than a month and a grudge can be formed. WTF.
The government encourages foreigners to work in Singapore. Maids are employed to assist their employers in their housework. Are they too much help or wot?! Maids kill each other because of their lover, maids kill because they claim their employers mistreat them, maids kill the whole family because they are unhappy with their employers. Wadda?!I'm not saying they're more of a trouble than a great help...It's just this minority that inflicts the bad image of how maids are on people. Well,I'm glad that the maid got what she bloody deserved.The police have made an investigation and it's proved that the maid dong guo shou jiao... Death sentence? Well, i suppose Mr Desmond Ng would begin to think twice about employing a maid already. He can do without being called 'principal' i guess...Lol...

Bb~dark circles are forming! T.T

[you taught me so much, but you didn't teach me how to forget you...]
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Thursday, October 20, 2005

9:37 PM

Days passed like never before...
the times spent with you fades gradually in my mind as the minutes tick away...
i'm sitting here alone in the room and i realised.
Reminiscing about the past has indeed become a chore.
I thought about it all night, and i realised
The pain inside me never seemed to subside all these while.
I guess it never will.
Because it will always be the imperfections in me i'll need to cope with.


I become afraid as the night draws nearer.
Dreams are what i'm afraid of now.
You're appearing in them every single night.
It's painful to wake up in the morning and know that everything was just an illusion.
Nothing more.
I see your shadows everywhere i go.
I remember you telling me you'll be with me,
No matter how near, how far,
You'll be there to look over me.
A part of you in me, i'll carry it always.


I've become so reliant on these thoughts.
I felt you were always there for me.
It's the day i need you most,
But when i looked around me.
You were nowhere near.
Maybe you haven't been there all this while afterall...


I guess, i've been living in the shadows of you and i for too long...


Second post of the day...
Another emotional post of the week. Haven't been myself lately...Let's hope it's due to exam stress. I've been working myself out lately i'm tired of everything already...17 days to start of O levels...WTF am i doin here ... -.-
some hearts are meant to be broken;;

7:17 PM

Fuck it. Why do i always have to be blamed!? For every little thing tat happens that is?! Tmd. All i need is just a peaceful home to go back to after a day's work. Is that too much to ask for?! Knn!


I kinda screwed my practical..T.T
Got the wrong substance....2 marks lost....Substance is supposed to be Zinc Nitrate, not Lead(II) Nitrate. UURRGGGHH! Shitty! To think that my first paper already turned out to be lyk dat....=( Demoralised liaox. AH!!!!


YOU NOE WHAT???JUS LEAVE ME ALONE YOU HEAR ME!!! T.T
I HATE WAKING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT BECAUSE OF YOUR CALLS AND MESSAGES!!! PLEASE!!!!~


no mood le...bah....lazy...bye. =(
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Tuesday, October 18, 2005

8:49 PM

Muggin Muggin Muggin...-.- Phew... Thur's prac!!!One more day!!! Waah! so fast! T.T

Sigh, why does it always seems so easy to you!? Tmd~ *utter low AGAIN* T.T
Right. I wanna make it clear to some ppl...
*breathes in*.....
I HAVE NO BOYFRIEND SO STOP TELLING ME YOU TOT I HAVE ONE!!!!!! -.- SINGLE GEDDIT? NO BOYFRIEND!!!! STOP ASKIN CAN!? bloody hell~
DAMMIT....S-I-N-G-L-E!!!SINGLE~!!!!! knn~ *boils -.-*

k...Eugene say i can be fortune teller...what oni....=(
My horoscope says:

October 18, 2005...
You're in the mood for peace and quiet. Period. That doesn't mean you'll insist on being completely alone to have it, but you will insist on keeping your guest list to a minimum -- say, a party of two?
Funny how things change. Some of us who aren't usually in the mood to chat are doing nothing else, and you, who happen to be famous for your communication skills, are all of a sudden feeling less like talking and more like listening. Not to conversation, though. You're after sweet sounds, tender words and so forth. Poetry -- poetry that's read by someone with a soothing, pleasant voice. Music -- maybe even classical music. Ah, well. Enjoy it while it lasts.
Are you ready for romance? Are you ever! Well, this month romance might be ready right back. The 3rd and 4th, in particular, are days when some oochy-coochy-smoochy could come a-knocking. Be sure to throw on your bathrobe and answer the door! The 8th, you two could get kind of serious -- were you ready for that? You bet you were. If you weren't -- try to figure it out (and be honest!) the 11th. The 17th, it is totally time to hone in on your romantic hopes and wishes. After all, if you don't know what they are, how can you fulfill them? The 21st, get ready to really wow somebody very, very sensual. Rowwr! You are having a grand old romantic time the 26th, and don't fret if you have to do some emotional heavy lifting the 27th and 28th. It'll get you in shape for the 30th and 31st, when it looks like it's only getting steamier in your sauna-of-love!


I just realised horoscopes are total crap...-.- ok...mebbe not the peace and quiet part... the others are a complete hoax.

Bb~lousy post...go chong liangx...and rest early...it's 6.45am again for me tmr...tata~
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Monday, October 17, 2005

11:15 PM

2nd entry of the night...

Emotions are tiding over me....i can't help it....It's becoming overbearing. =(


I can't get to sleep. I have to meet friends at 6.30am tmr. I'm tired. But i can't sleep. What's fucking wrong!!! T.T I cried to myself just now. It's painful...It's killing me. What is causing me to feel like that?! It's just a sudden rush of emotions thats causing me to feel all so mixed up inside. I shouted at my aunt when she came back just now. I feel so sorry. Fuck it. What's with me!!! Feeling pmsy? No. Far from it. Fuck fuck fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T.T
I checked my phone so many fucking times for some stupid reasons. I felt stupid. I feel so helpless. I feel....TERRIBLY FUCKED UP...T.T
I can't do this anymore...i can't..I HAD ENUFF. I had enuff of myself. I hate it. I do...I'm sorry...=(
some hearts are meant to be broken;;

9:29 PM

Monday blues...No normal school timetable,no normal school hours. We're on our own... Big Os are nearing the corner! Thur is Sci-prac..good luck to me...


Have been sleepin very late nowadays...Slept at 4am last nite...or rather, this mornin. Found myself staring at the ceiling for a very long time but couldn't get to sleep.Haix.Lucky thing my aunt isn't around... What's happening to me?! Somebody pls get me some sleepin pills...-.- *bangs head against wall*


Didn't accomplish much today....Urgh..found it bloody hard to concentrate. NPCC was having their training. So noisy can?! Bloody kns...Tmr i'll go to the school library...-.- Schedule's packed for tmr anyway...
9am---Meet Miss Chia for Phy
10am--Seek Mrs Chua's help in Chem
11am--Mrs Tan...for English.Gotta hand up compo...
after dat it's continuous muggin and muggin and more muggin!!! -.- The sound of it already tires me...I'm so drained outta my energy i find that i have difficulty breathing le...Even when i sleep can?! The feeling is horrible. Gosh, tink i need a lil help...
Had no appetite for dinner today...Guess i'm just...too tired.... -.- Not feelin very well...I feel sick.


Thought about a lot of stuff today...Just can't find any answers to them...And i guess, i never will. I just feel as if i'm immune to human affection. I feel dead. My heart is dead. I find it hard to express myself. I find it difficult to describe how i'm feeling now...-.- Ah. Wot am i blabbin about...newae....tata~~

[i want to free myself from moments of fear and hope]
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Sunday, October 16, 2005

1:11 PM

It's been ages since i last heard this song...it was broadcasted on radio last nite by a guy who so much so cried while dedicating this song to his ex...-.- First time i heard a guy cry on air...

Lost without you-Delta Goodrem
I know I can be a little stubborn sometimes
A little righteous and too proud
I just want to find a way to compromise
Cos I believe that we can work things out
I thought I had all the answers
Never giving in
But baby since you’ve gone
I admit that I was wrong
CHORUS (1)
All I know is I’m lost without you
I’m not gonna lie
How am I gonna be strong without you
I need you by my side
If we ever said we’ll never be together
and we ended with goodbye
Don’t know what I’d do
I’m lost without you

CHORUS (2)
I keep trying to find my way
but all I know is
I'm lost without you
I keep trying to face the day
Lost without you

How am I ever gonna get rid of these blues?
Baby I'm so lonely all the time
Everywhere I go I get so confused
You’re the only thing that’s on my mind
Oh my beds so cold at night
I miss you more each day
Only you can make it right
No I’m not too proud to say

CHORUS (1)
All I know is I’m lost without you
I’m not gonna lie
How am I gonna be strong without you
I need you by my side
If we ever said we’ll never be together
and we ended with goodbye
Don’t know what I’d do
I’m lost without you

CHORUS (2)
I keep trying to find my way
but all I know is
I'm lost without you
I keep trying to face the day
Lost without you
If I could only hold you now
Make the pain just go away
Can’t stop the tears from running down my face
(oh)
CHORUS (1)
All I know is I’m lost without you
I’m not gonna lie
How am I gonna be strong without you
I need you by my side
If we ever said we’ll never be together
and we ended with goodbye
Don’t know what I’d do
I’m lost without you

CHORUS (2)
I keep trying to find my way (yeah)
but all I know is
I'm lost without you
I keep trying to face the day
(but all I know is)Lost without you
I keep trying to find my way
And all I know is
I’m lost without you
i'm Lost without you


Yesterday's party was nothing close to what you would call a 21st Birthday party...So boring can!!! I was left alone sitting at one corner....Parents were busy entertaining their friends, birthday boy was also busy...Urgh. Wo zi bi lor..sit one corner play wif fone...play until no batt.
-.- Urgh. I would never wanna my 21st birthday to be anything close to that~! I was left alone since the party started untill bout 9pm when "he shang(monk)" msged me....lol! =X WEnt to Pasir Ris park to slack together...=p xie xie ni pei wo!!! ^.^ REached home bout 12pm...Bu she de shui so watched tv till 4+...Boring shows on tv...Still couldn't get to slp after dat...-.-


It's been pouring outside for an hour now...stuck at home...lol...nobody jio go out study today...=(
Left alone at home too...dad's gone for mahjong, mum's gone for work. -.-
Dinner anyone???=(


It's muggin muggin MUGGIN from tmr onwards!!! Goin back to school to study...
some hearts are meant to be broken;;

12:47 AM

My mood has taken another plunge today
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Friday, October 14, 2005

11:58 PM

14th Oct 2005...The end of post prelims and the start of intense muggin begins...Persevere to excellence ppl!!! =) Sci practical is exactly 6 days away...I'm feelin the heat now....Oh god. *faints*


"Today is a significant day for our sec four graduates." beamed Mr Ow when he made the morning announcements today...Gawd...We recited the pledge and sang the national anthem with gusto like never before in the morning. The feelin was great. I never felt this way before...In this four years in PRSS, i tot today would be indeed one significant day i'll remember throughout my secondary school years. I'm graduating! Graduation ceremony was held today and i looked forward to it so much i couldn't wait for the 1 and a half hour English lessons to end.(erh...okok, partly cos i dreaded boring English lessons as well)..Sadly, the ceremony wasn't all that of a "hoohah" afterall. The sound system still sucks even though Mr Tony Tan claimed the school bought a new sound system...-.- The IT people didn't prepare the clips properly beforehand and all the ppt slides were not timed properly. Kns. The cheer wasn't much of a "atmosphere lifter" newae. I'm sorry to say but the student leaders on stage looked silly doin that haka cheer. -.- The cheer is alright. But they looked silly when all of them stood on stage to teach the graduating corhort. Cummon. Do you need such a big group to teach that simple cheer? -.- Duo ci yi ju....I was supposed to be one of the leaders newae...but i didn't turn up for any of the meetings...=X However, the teachers were rather sporting when they got invited up the stage. People like Mr Poh and Mdm Cheng were so into the cheer they looked so serious doin it. Lol...Laffed my heads off today...Mr Ng so cute can!!! He small small size de...den he do the cheer so cute!!! Lol!!! Mrs Chua too! =) The teachers were a good sport, including Mr Ow. Their faces were drawn. Two horizontal strips across their faces for that tribal effect. Lol.... And you noe wot? They used acrylic paint....Lol!!!! Mr Ng complained that his skin peeled after he tried bloody hard to wash the paint off his face...Poor him. Hur!Hur! =X Newae......i just wanna say....4E4 LOVES OUR HOME TEACHERS!!! MR DESMOND NG BOON TIONG AND MR WONG WEI LONG!!! YOU'RE THE BEST TEACHERS WE'VE EVER CAME ACROSS!!! WE LOVE U!!!! =D Nothin much after dat le~ Just loads of photo-taking with mua gurlfrens at school and at Tm's L. J. S. for lunch...


Qing and Stephie came to my house today...More photos! And painting of nails!Mine's pink and white! lol....Went to BK to study after dat....Was too tired so reached home at 8.30. Nobody was home again...


O yea....I've decided to go for the prom night on 9th December...Theme is..."Shining Stars"...-.-
Not many people were keened to go....35 bucks....Mayb i'll find myself leavin early dat night...Urgh....beginning to regret...


I'm feeling sorry now.And i know i'm not the only one. Sighx, i didn't expect Miss Sim to say that in class...Guilt...Remorse...haix. Why did things have to turn so sour? I guess misunderstandings have to be rid off before nxt tuesday~ =( Gettin our art O lvl Qn by nxt tue....Fast...*dat means more work and i need help. Yesh...dat's a hint =p* *faints again*


What's wrong wif me?! My throat and nose feels weird. And everytime when i get this type of feeling, it means i'm gonna fall sick soon.. GAwwWd!~~~ No!!! i downed 5 glasses of water just now...No falling sick!!! NONO!!! My hair drop a lot siah!T.T My hair!!! Mummy says it's due to stress...Hope i don't bald....It's not cute ok.....=p
Oh ya! Mummy bought a top from Samuel and Kevin for me today!!! Woot! And it's orange!!! Goodie!!! She asked me to wear it tmr....hmm....it's been so long since she last bought a shirt for me ya noe?!


HIek~ long post today huh...=p Guess i'd better stop here...i'm gonna do some filing later to make my studyin easier...hmm...Diligence is impt! =X
BB!!!
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Thursday, October 13, 2005

11:55 PM

Hmm...second post of the day...i love my blog more and more...

Came back home the earliest of all days within this week.Spent my time in bed and on my com for most of the time..Wanted to take a nap and start doin some work but ended up sleepin till 5+...Stupid medicine...Feeling groggy and all now... @.@...
Just completed my art...i tried my best. It doesn't look the way it should look like...-.- It should be a cropped butterfly in the reflection of water... But now...It looks like an ant on a leaf. Lol~ Makes me laff~ Whatever~ =p I'm prepared to get reprimanded by Miss Sim tmr...lala~ Who cares bout art anyway... =X


Chatted wif Yi Rong online just now...It's been ages since i last saw her! Since teacher's day celebration if i'm not wrong....Hopefully we'll be able to meet up nxt week~ I miss her! I miss my ruan seniors! I miss Xing Yi Jie! Huixin! Yi Rong! Huilin! T.T Yay..gonna reserve my weekends for you wor Yi Rong!!! =p Slack at starbucks...finally~~~phew. Coffee~~I'm craving for it now...
Sighx...Yi Rong said, "oh pls..dun hate urself..if not..ppl will find hard to love u..." Find it hard to love me? I find it hard to love anyone....including myself now...-.- *low* I don't give a damn to myself nowadays i realise...^shrugs^


I'm glad Stephy and Jun Wei are alright now...Been worried for her...Sighx...Relationships. They're such beautiful thing to come by but it's a chore when things go all haywire... One particular junior was so excited he got a girlfriend dat i was kinda irritated by him when he kept askin me to guess who's his girl. -.- Wadda~ Yadda yadda~*rolls eyes* And oh to my little junior, congrats...and most importantly, GOOD LUCK.


I'm utterly disappointed...Sighx. Why have things gone so wrong between the sec 3s and sec 4s man...Wadda fuck is goin on. Sumbody pls clear my doubts. Some sec 3 gal walked pass and diao me today.. WTF?! She used to go "Hi Rena! *sweet smile*" lyk 2 weeks ago...And now??!! AP kias...O ya...nxt time i shall say, "hao gou bu dang lu" when she stands in my way...I had to say "excuse me" so many freakin times before this particular grp of sec 3 gals moved aside. I know i short lar...but they also not tall hor...Can see me de hor....-.-...They blocked the entire pathway on purpose. Your mamma house or wot.


I'm still in a dillema if i should go to the prom or not...-.- Received so many smses regarding it today...Sianx...I shall decide tmr...ps:Qing Qing!!! Don't kill me!!! =X


To Siok Wen: I'm sorry...i guess i haven been a very good friend...dat's y u felt dat way....Sighx...=(


It's bedtime for me...Chiongin tmr....gonna study wif Qing tmr at my house till 6pm....den proceed to Downtown Bk to continue studyin after dinner till 10 pm at night..Have to do what i'm suppose to complete today..I slacked too much...Anybody else interested? Gimme an sms bah....

[i need a breather...]
some hearts are meant to be broken;;

5:20 PM

Puffy eyes...Feelin pmsy~ feeling weak in the knees. Cramps.... Urgh. Bloody kns. AAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! -.- I need my chocolates.

It's graduation day tmr...Time has passed by so quickly. It seems as if it was yesterday dat the last batch graduated...I'll expect some cryin tmr so i shall bring extra tissue paper in case...Lol...

I jus realised i had this foto...
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
group foto!

More to come! It's another photo taking session tmr!

You're just another part of me....ooh....
Chi fan chi dao shui le, wo kai che kai dao sha le.
Wo kan shu kan dao ni le, Kai shi huai yi wo ze me le.
Shuo hua shuo dao tu le, wo xie ge xie dao feng le.
Wo ai ni ai dao wang le, tian zhi dao wo you ze me le.
Bu she de, she bu de....
Dou fen shou le,
She bu de...bu she de...
San le....

Wo xiang yi zhi ku wei le de mei gui~ Wang le wei she me yao diao xie...

Zai jian~

[tears running deep]
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Wednesday, October 12, 2005

10:03 PM

I'm bloody tired. I got acrylic pain all over me. My hands, my uniform...Fuck it. -.-
Yay...it's the end of the post-prelims activities by this fri~ No more school from nxt Mon onwards....Prom night....I'm still deciding if i should go...9th of Dec....Orchid Country Club....in Yishun. So damn bloody far. No mood to go...Sian 1/2


Headache the whole day...Lectures suck. Homework sucks. Bloody hell, i suck.


So many people are falling in love these days. I feel sick. I can't commit but want to be loved. I had a dream last night. Somebody was huggin me from behind. The touch seemed familiar.It seemed so real but when i opened my eyes, i realised it was just a dream. It was 4.15 am by then. I cried. I hugged myself to sleep.I clutched the plushie tight.I wanna be a child again when my mum used to hug me to sleep every night... If only my nights were not so painful...


Tonight shall be another sleepless night. I'm cryin again...I'm beginning to think about stuff already. I'm scared. Something is wrong. It's me. It's...sigh... I can't tell. I'm sorry.


I'm sorry i said you lied. I knew you didn't. I can feel it. But it doesn't matter now anymore. Does it?


I still hate myself, It didn't change. I made myself feel so miserable.
Gdnite.
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Tuesday, October 11, 2005

8:25 PM

I've haven been able to concentrate for these two days...Loads av been on my mind and i can't pour em out to anyone...It feels terrible this way....It's been almost a month.Too many people have been reminding me of stuff i don't wanna think of. It's definitely not easy and to tell the truth, things didn't get better as time passed by... I guess i've overestimated myself. I cried myself silly last nite. Zits are popping out due to lack of sleep. -.- I re-read the msgs in the morning at school one by one...After much thinking....I tink.....
I'm beginning to hate myself more...


Steph:
I'm sorry, i knew we've drifted apart lately...And i haven been caring about you as much compared to before.I guess, things have changed i don't dare to trust anybody as much as before anymore. I can't relate as much stuff to anyone just like how i could before. I can't bring myself to do it, don't ask me why. Please don't resort to silly thoughts and actions to hurt urself ok? I know you're goin thru a rough time as well, but do know there are people around who love you! I love you too! Don't do anything to hurt yourself! I'm guilty of it in the past, and now, when i look back, i blame myself even more for doin such silly things to myself. I wanted people to care, but the thing is, they never realised what i did was to gain their attention. The pain seems to fade away in an instant but you know it deep down inside that the hurt inflicts even more on you...All of us friends love you!!!!


Mum:
I'm sorry i left the house in a huff after quarreling with you that day, i wasn't in a good mood and i guess i've went too far...I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to let you worry. I jus wanted to have some space on my own for some time....I'm sorry i let daddy and you worry. I swear i won't do it ever again. I promise. T.T


Wb:
I'm sorry. I can't fulfill the promise i made to you.So far,I've tried hard. I can't. It's been a month. It's not easy, but i'll continue to trust and try... I hate putting on a brave front in front of you and tell you i'm doing fine.And i know you don't want me to lie either. It's not me. It's difficult. Sometimes foolish tots drive me up the wall, i wish a car would someday run me over. No, no sucidal tots. Just a statement. Don't worry...


Friends:
peepx, i really wanna thank you guys for caring...I'm sorry,I've been acting rather outta sorts lately...But i'll be me again in no time! I love u all!


The days are getting harder to pass by....It's till 9pm tmr...and off to dinner after dat at night. The journey way home has become such a chore...I'm tired....I'm drained....I'm...."life- less"...(or wotever u call that) I wanna go for a movie....!!! T.T
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Sunday, October 09, 2005

10:20 PM

Back home!~

Hmm, my little niece ish so cute can?! Her name is Maygen....=D I'll upload the pix when i have time....She's sho tinieE!!! =p


Met Xiuqing to study at kfc todae at 3pm...Completed POA and 1 english compo within 3 hours...
lala~ Went to bugis after dat to buy jacket for Fidy~ Waah...I want the adidas red and white one!!! Singapore no stock le... ^sobx^...Qing and i shall wait for the new design to arrive...Woot! $100 +...

Sad can...today go bugis nver buy aniting.I'm broke...no espadrilles, no jacket,no clothes, no white flat sequin earings(under light got a lot of colours de!!!love em'!), no makeup,no white clutch bag, no white and red leather tote, no nothing....T.T I shall start ranking the things i want in the wishlist in time to come...Muahahah!
I'm in love with Inuovi's cosmetics!!! I want!!!! =X


I'm guai..i spent all my money on stationery today....=p


MOnday bluEs anyone?
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Friday, October 07, 2005

11:26 PM

FUCK IT. I HATE MYSELF.
some hearts are meant to be broken;;

8:52 PM

It's been a long day...jus came home from night study. I finally managed to finish all 4 compre papers, 1 math paper 2 and half of the sci 2004 booklet today...DAt's a lot can?! I'm like so fuckin tired now and i still have to do 4 summary questions later....bah~ I looked forward to homecoming but i returned to an empty house and i regretted not staying back in school till 9 now. And here i am again....alone... -.- typing out the entry of the day....while i wait for the water to boil to cook maggie mee to eat. Pathetic eh...


I need a break...So after tmr's studyin at the airport in the afternoon, perhaps i'll go for movie wif Xing Yi jie and Wb...I'm still waiting for my jie's call..~ YawnZ. Haven seen her in a million years. Miss her to bits. Well, i donno if they're really keen on goin or not anyway...So if they're not keen, i'll still go catch a movie on my own~ yea...alone. I'm used to it already anyway... -.-


Oh yea, right, the sight of couples kissin and cuddling on buses puts me off now...Say i'm jealous. Whatever. I hate this fuckin feeling now. ='(

Well, lazy to continue anymore..it's dinner-cum-supper time now~tata...


[it's just something dat's pullin at me hard that i feel the pain even up to now. What is it?]
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Wednesday, October 05, 2005

7:31 PM

Gosh. I realised i've been bloggin almost everyday nowadays. Guess it's my way of de-stressing. -.- I've been studyin at school after post prelims activities for these few days now and will continue doin so until the end of the month... It's night study tmr for me at school ....will stay till 9 pm. As usual, i'm drained outta my energy today. And my flu is getting worse. -.- *sniff sniff*


I bought myself a book as a diary today. I guess sometimes, certain thoughts are still best to be kept to myself and i shall pen them down in this little diary of mine.It shall my wall of support throughout these horrid times i'm goin thru.A silent 'friend' i can confess my true feelings to.I guess at the moment, i don't find it comfortable to share certain tots wif anyone anymore..And down the road one day, i can look back on my life and perhaps laugh to myself about what foolish tots i had when i was younger.Well, loads av been on my mind lately. Especially yesterday nite. =(
I shall not go on further...


Received a friendster msg from Manfred. It was such a surprise to hear from him after he went overseas to further his studies....Take care pal! See you around!


Bye~~~it's to the shower and back to hmkin...
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Tuesday, October 04, 2005

6:40 PM

It's only the beginning of the week and i'm dreading it already. Post prelims schedule starts tmr!!! And there's already lots of work for me to complete. Gosh...How am i gonna stick to my timetable if homework continues to pile on bit by bit? -.- .H.e.l.p.
I reach home drained out of all my energy and the thought of the amount of work i still need to do gives me a headache. It's horrendous. how to pull thru lidat!!! T.T


Just came back home from school...Spent the day doin POA and English. Right...i stuffed myself today....Hur. O ya. Met Henry on my way home on the bus...he said we didn't talk for a very long time...Hmm, really? I remembered talkin to him last week. Oh well...I'm beginning to have a slight flu le....-.- Bye~


*I'm counting the days as they pass by one by one and wonder if you're doin the same because the day seems longer without you around*
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Monday, October 03, 2005

7:30 PM

When everything seems so wrong at this point in time, and you feel as if the world has come crashin down on you, remember i'll always be there for you. Run to me....Don be afraid of cryin out loud in front of me because i want you to feel better...It's been hard for me to sit around and do nothing when you're goin thru something so difficult. But i know the pain in me will never be able to be compared to yours...For losing a loved one isn't something you would be able to get over overnight.The pain won't subside in an instant. He's watching over you from above...and i know doesn't want you to be upset, for he has only gone somewhere else, somewhere far far away....He hasn't left anyone of you. He's still living. He's living in your hearts...
I don't wanna go on and on talking about bracing up anymore. For you have to cross the hurdle yourself and grow to be stronger.It's easier said than done, i know. Please know dat i do care. In fact,very much...Please take care of yourself...


" When you're in your darkest hour, all of the light seems to fade away, but there'll always be someone who'll eventually hold your hand and lead you out of your dark hours."
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Sunday, October 02, 2005

1:10 AM

Whew~it's 1.10am and here am i bloggin. Couldn't get to slp...


Friday
Had our bbq and Pasir Ris park...hur~! It was great fun.I could feel the class spirit like never before. The bond....=)

Spent the whole day cycling,at the playground and also took loads of fotos wherever we went. =p...Under great influence of my "zi-lian-ness", my girl friends and i took fotos wherever we went...Lol~ Will post the pics when i have the time bahx...I promise! =)
[ps: if ya gurls wan the pix p.m me online kk??? =D]

I went home and found scratches on my elbows and knee. Must have been due to the several photo taking postures i needed to make to get the photo taken nicely...=p My butt hurts too...=X Now i know where are the good spots at Pasir Ris park where the area is super suitable for taking nice fotos le!!!Weehur~~~hur~


Saturday
Attended Wb's grandfather's wake/funeral today. I'm glad to find him alright, though it seems he has lost some weight and has lack of sleep. I guess, it's real hard for him at this moment in time bah...But i hope he'll brace up soon ok???Wb,I may not fully understand how you're feeling right now, but i've been through this before...A part of me will be with you through this difficult journey ok?? =) Pls remember my words alright?


Bb~ off to bed...It's off to the airport to study wif steph darl and zhiyi tmr! Sho goodie nitex ppl!
some hearts are meant to be broken;;