Friday, September 16, 2005
3:11 PM
We've separated temporarily, perhaps forever. No one knows what will happen. I'm lying if i want to say i'm not hurt. For the truth is. I'm broken up all inside. No words can describe my feelings. The memories of us being together kept replaying in my mind. Thinking about them just lets tears stream down my face. I've been cryin hard. I tot i could cry it all out and let it go. But i can't. It's hard. I can't seem to do it. The moment i step into my house today, i cried, alone. I think of us wherever i go. I cry at night. All night. I just seem to feel him around me wherever i went. In school, in the mall, at a fast food restaurant, at home. Everywhere.Everytime i tink about us, tears well up in my eyes. Everything drowns me now. I feel as if everything that has been built within this 1 and a half years has just fell down on me,hard. I tried hard to save it too. I know he's tired. I am as well. Perhaps its due to the frequent quarrels, feelings fade, love disappears. For a relationship, if two people share different needs for closeness or separateness and when arguements arise, there is no respect in each other's opinions and needs, everything would be gone. I guess, that was what happened to us.Perhaps, i've taken everything he has given to me for granted.That's why he's withdrawing. In two weeks time, we'll make a decision, for whether the chapter closes then or whether the story continues. I have no idea what's up for me next. I want to transfer all my sorrow into energy for studies. It's prelims now. I can't afford to be affected, i know it. But i can't seem to do it. SS for me today was terrible. I couldn't concentrate.
I need someone to talk to, but i know the people are not the ones in school. I'm sorry my friends, perhaps i need space. Don't probe and you'll already be doing me a great favour.
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
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