Monday, September 19, 2005
3:26 PM
I guess, all courage is lost. I've lost myself, as in, i don't know who i am anymore. But, i'll not give up....I'll continue to look for the real me. It's a new beginning. =)
To ace:
I didn't want to say this, but if i keep it to myself, i guess i'll feel worse. I despise you. As in, I despise how u can say that I'm the one for you when things were better and now, you can say it to another. Get wot i mean? I guess, you really don't know what you want. Who you really need. Perhaps everything is just all so wrong. I feel like i'm just someone who has crossed your path at the wrong place, at the wrong time. Perhaps one who has just crossed your path when you got rejected by her that few months ago. Maybe you needed someone to give you the sense of love. As love for you to her, has been disregarded, you needed a part of love to be returned to you. I still remember the trip to City Harvest church last yr, when you felt down when jie told you something about her accepting you if you asked her another time. You could have a chance to win her back, but i guess, my foot was laid into your life at the wrong time, causing you to lose the chance to be with the one whom you really needed. I guess, life's been making fun of you. You've been a fool who has been going round in a circle, looking for the "one" and now, you're back into square one, finding urself in the same love trap you were in a few years ago.. And which ever god above that has put us together, has made me a bigger fool by laying me into your hands when you needed someone. I'm sorry i have to feel this way. But i'm speaking from the bottom of my heart as i type out this entry. The thing is, I want to cry...but i guess, when i tink back and recalled telling you about giving us another chance, i feel stupid and weak. I don't want to feel this way anymore. You can't blame me for feeling that as if you cheated on me. For if you did this to any other girl, she'll feel the same way too. YOu said i was selfish. But now, i tink you're the selfish one. You don't want to tell her, not because you don't want to like her. It's because you fear rejection once again. Prove me wrong. You can say you loved me, say whatever you want, but to me, all the memories we once had...all those sweet memories i tot i could keep after the breakup, are all filled with another shadow. The shadow of her...I feel as if she has been a part of us all along...and all these memories, i can't afford to take them with me, for it hurts too much. I'm sorry for feeling this way. I really am. I want to meet you on Friday with an open heart and not keep these tots within me even till then. Really. For we are good friends, i want you know what's in my heart and what you should learn from these moments we've shared for the past year or so. I want the best for you, just like you want the best for me. I'm not trying to put you down, ace. No. That's not my intention, and it will never be.
Dear friends:
I thank all of you who's given me support throughout this rough journey. I thank you for being there when i needed someone to talk to. I guess, all will stop here for now....I need some peace and quiet in this new journey where i find my new self. =)
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
.View Friendster Acc.