;i keep up with a fake smile.Do you ever notice?



I FAKE A SMILE ALL THIS WHILE

DID YOU EVER REALISE?

It's me.So what?
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*Rena Heng
*aka Tiny,Nana
*17*
*30/5/89*
*TP,Hospitality and Tourism*
*PRSS,QNPS*

Her world revolves around...
*her friends
*family
*you
*her lovelies =3
*clubs
*drinking
*shopping
*bitching
*freedom

BEWARE,SHE SNAPS
I'm not who you think i really am. Don't like reading wat's here? Buzz off. =)
DO NOT JUDGE ME,period.

HER WANTS
*New navel stud*
*plain bikini*
*Waist belt*
*A pair of flats*
*Grey/white off shoulder*
*tan*
*Vintage dress*
*New phone*


THE ONES

Abigail
Adler
Arjuna
Audrina
Alpharian
Alvin
Boon Ern
Daphne
Daryl
Dixon
de-bonbons
Eugene
Genevieve
Hailing
Hakim
Hidayu
Hisa
Idy
Jacquelin
Jeslyn
Jingxuan
Justin
Jie Hui
Karen
Kok Sheng
Letitia
Pauline
Quan Zhang
Qiao
Royston
Stephanie
Shihan
Siok Wen
Sihan
Wei Li
Wei Jie
Weslie
Xiuqing
Yi ting
Yiwen
Yu Heng
Zhiyi
Zhu Xiaoming
Ziying
CUT THE CRAP

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TUCKED AWAY

Sunday, April 17, 2005

12:01 AM

I don't know how shuld i be feelin at this moment in time. Seriously, i'm totally upset. Two are my friends, one is my dear. What am i supposed to do? I'm being sandwiched in between. I've been retyping this entry over and over again thinking how to phrase my tots.

I'm too magnanimous? To don't even mind when girls say a "miss you" to him. I don't know, but hey, I'm a girl too you know. I need a sense of security. HOw am i going to cope with my life now? I got a sucky family, and now, this happens. How the hell am i gonna continue with my life? Pretend nothing has happened? No, this would cause more problems to resurface. I need moral support but who's gonna give it to me now? I'm trying hard to keep my emotions in control. No one is there for me this time around. I guess i've to cope by myself.

All i need is for you to think about how i would feel. Will all of you jus spare a fucking tot for my feelings? You guys wanna continue going against one another and make mi feel fucking worse? If all of you can bear that, go ahead. I'll forever be here to put up with all these nonsense. But i won't know when i'll do something crazy, because i find playing with the penknife pretty amusing now...or maybe i won bother looking out for cars anymore?It'll be fun to see mi fly. Wham Bam and Wee~~i can fly. Thud. Wow. HOw exciting eh? By then there'll be nothing for all of you to be upset over because the main source of the problem is gone? Right??? Mebbe i shall do just that. I'll choose the one that won't hurt that much. I've got NO FUCKING CHOICE. I jus wanna put a stop to all these nonsense for it's really driving me up against the wall. YOu don't understand and you will nver know what i'm going thru. NONE OF YOU WILL.

I know steph is jus feeling that all this really does injustice to weijian. And i know she's concerned bout me. But sometimes, things are made worse when the conflict goes on...and on...None of you will feel more hurt than me. I jus hope this whole fucking incident blows over. I don't wanna lose my dear, i don't wanna lose my friends. I know things won't be the same anymore. But i jus hope they don't ever cross borders with each other to prevent another conflict. Stop tormenting me. PLEASE. I've had enough. I jus wanna go back to the good old days. No quarrels, no nothing. It doesn't matter if they dont communicate, I'll be more than glad if they don't even talk to each other and i can get out of this tug of war. I'M BEGGIN.I'VE HAD ENUFF.

Family. Yea, right. Think i have someone to fall back onto at home? YOu got it wrong. Yea, i have, but it's not human. I pity my pillow. It's always wet cos of my crying. I cry myself to sleep very often but does anyone noes? NO. Saying i didn't sleep well is jus an excuse when i'm spotted with my eye swollen. Well, it's not noticable anyway.

I want my friends back, I want my dear back. Lastly, I want my old self back. Is that too much to ask for?
some hearts are meant to be broken;;