Wednesday, February 09, 2005
8:46 PM
Happy Chinese New Year! Went to Chun Dao He Pan with teddy and family yesterday night...Fun! The fireworks display was spectacular...
Went visiting today...Visited 2 relatives...Bored the whole day...Adults chatted while i jus sat there and ate and ate and ate...Stuffed myself silly today...
Teddy wasn't in a good mood i suppose...Sensed it thru his tone of voice when we chatted over the fone....Sometimes, I really hope he could confide in me...I want to care...I want to help...I want to lend a listening ear...Was i given a chance to care as a girlfriend? I only knew what he goes thru day to day when i read his blog jus like everyone else do...I wasn't der when he needed a shoulder...Was i given the chance? Maybe i was...perhaps all i did was bitch around? I don't know...I can't seem to sort out my thoughts nowadays...I'm imagining stuff...I'm paranoid bout everything that's happening...There's jus too much for mi to take...I'm a girl too...I need assurance...I need care...I'm expecting a lot, i know.
There's jus too much for me to take...If jumping off the building can solve all problems...I'd do it...I simply HATE myself...
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
5:01 PM
Kaox...ruined mua mood early in the morning...to hell with you! &*#$! Kiss the floor ah! Make mi angry after all i've done for you...A simple thank you will do much better! Bitch!
Hmmx...it's CNY eve! Gong xi fa cai!!! =D* the concert today was...erm...uuhh...nthin spectacular...Met teddy and his friends outside the school gate...ha! Knew they wun be able to get into school de..If ow allow the sun will rise from the west! Stupid rules! Teddy went out wif his friends after dat...reunion lunch...hmmx..sounds interesting...hope he had a great time! Hmmx...read his blog...well...know tat he's sorta caught in the middle..Friends say he keep on pang seh them to be with mi...I feel tat he'd rather spend more time with his friends than with mie...Hainx...i dunno la...I don't wanna pressurise him anymore la...If he wants to spend time with his friends, i would respect that bah...Think before we got together he kept goin out wif his friends bah...that's y now his friends think like i "snatch" him away lidat...Hey guys...if ya happen to read my blog entry...lemme tell ya this..."If ya guys think he keep on pang seh you...pls lor! It's not lo! If he wants to do that he can jolly well reject your offer of goin out today together de lo! Don't tell mi ya all don wanna spend more time with ya girlfriend if ya get hitched .If you say ya dun need to spend more time with ya girlfriend i long piak ah!Imagine if you haven seen your friends and gf for more den 3 weeks. Who would ya wanna see most? Friends? HA! Funny~~~" The world is turning upside down...Girl's won't complain like guys do nowadays..! Guys, get a grip of yourself man... It's not that i'm tryin to be sacarstic or wot...I'm stating facts....Judge the situation for yourself...I don give a damn bout ppl judgin mi le. Critics?
Ha...i've heard loads of em...Dear...it's how i feel lor...I know you're fed up bout all this crap... I won't wanna complain bout anyting else le lor...I'll leave all the stuff up to you oki? I don't wanna be a bitchy girlfriend who always complains bout this and dat le...I feel like a total bitch when i do that...YOu judge wat's best for yourself between ya friends and between the both of us. I'd respect tat. I jus need you to think how would you feel if you were in my shoes...
I'm finally slapped awake...Hmmx...goin out wif teddy later...it's been ages since we last went out...hope it'll be a great nite!
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Sunday, February 06, 2005
11:01 PM
Sunday...last day of the week...Went out with yiwen and xinning to buy some girl's stuff today...muahaha...at bedok...Went to find teddy at the same time...chatted a lil...he told mie he won't be free on V day...aw...sobby sob sobx..Nvm lar...cannot jiu forget it lo...i got tests during the week of V day anyway...doubt i can sneak out...Crap..this year is real crap for mi...Nothing has been goin the way i want to..Damn it...sighx...Been feeling real down from the beginning of the year till now...Doubt ppl can sense it newae...Blah....It's so late le...guess i'd better turn in...or else get panda's eyes...nitex!
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
1:20 AM
Had our reunion dinner with my uncles, aunties and all mua cousins(all 20+ de) jus now...It was fun...had great chats and all...Learnt a lot from their love experiences they told mie about..Food was great...Feeling bloated...Had a coup of glasses of wine...3 i tink...not dat bad la...i don't drink all the time....Underaged...~~~
Went to look for teddy after my project work..Wanted to give him a surprise but...well...it didn't work out afterall...Crap. Was expecting a "Dear! How come you're here!" with a big smile..Kinda disappointed though...but still, at least I managed to see him....Stayed there for bout an hour and set off for home to help mum prepare for the dinner...We didn't talk much...Well, the uncle selling ice-cream asked him if i was his girlfriend...Well, he told him i was jus a friend...Jus a friend indeed...If it was the supervisor who asked him, i'd understand why he didn't want to tell...However,it doesn't matter to me...If he thinks that it's not convenient to tell, so be it...I'm fine with that...
Blah...had a row with him after the dinner...He called when i was jus about to bid gdbye to my cousins...called my hp but i wasn't available...He was kinda angry...Well, I didn't do it on purpose...Said sorry...but he didn't care..."whatever" was the word he used. My heart's shattered into a million pieces...Was it really my fault? Why do i have to give in all the time? Do things really go the wrong way jus because of me? I'm too demanding i suppose. Too sensitive. I'm selfish. I'm always the one causing the unhappiness...It's that true? What should i do? Am i going to weep late into the night all the time? Is it because he's tired from work and that's y he's treating mi like that? I've totally no idea...I don't wanna know how you're doing thru your blog...I wanna hear it from you...We don't talk anymore.....
A simple "gdnite" and "hugx" was all i need...
tata`
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Thursday, February 03, 2005
9:04 PM
hmmx...read teddy's blog...think he's real upset with his mum...Relax oki dear, my mum is no far better de larx...Well, mothers get their bad days too eh? Just treat as if she's transparent can liaox...Heck care her...think of mi can liaox kk? =X...*hee*smile!!=D*
Well, wasn't in a good mood yesterday too...hah! Realised that i haven been in a good mood these few days...a lil stressed up lor...SEc 4 life sux...(for now) Been havin common tests and stuff this wk...wahh...study study study...@.@
Kaox lo...kevin make me du lan...WTH...never shout at him den he say i shout...Wei le ta hao he like dat...Sighx...think he aso in bad mood lo...mood swing...World is changing...guys are becoming more sensitive to words...blah!
Where has all the normal guys gone to??? Know of one of them...and dat's mua dear...heex...love ya! Guess that's all fer today...tata~*Gotta chiong mua studying for POA liaox neh...
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
10:45 PM
Didn't sleep well last nitex...had several nightmares...bad bad bad...Today kept dozing off in class during english lesson. 3 periods...not sianx cai guai...hmmx...Eye rings getting more and more obvious le...how??!!!Waah!!!!Become like panda siax...Keep sneezin today...think wanna kena flu liaox...Piang eh...i dun wanna be sick again...sighx...=(
Today's sports term involved the sec 4s...yippie!!Mua class beated 4/6!!!Muahahhax...=X...gd job guys!Must admit that both classes the standard bout da same larx...only win by 2 balls i tink... Heex, last yr mua class not sho bonded de wor...oni this year den very bonded...Marvellous game! Wheet!!!
Was at the CNY dance thingy while dey were havin the sports term...finally!!The whole dance is almost completed except the last verse...been kinda fed up wif em over the past few days...ahh....they've made gd progress i must say....Made mi shout and shout previously but today not sho bad...Except keep havin ppl distracting them...Bloody hell...wanna make mi diao dem den dey siam...dunno how to zi dong de leh...Tmr gotta stay bac again...gotta settle the emcees...Aahh!Friday's the full dress rehearsal le~ Actually wanna go find teddy at his workplace either today or tmr de...but looks like i dun av the time...sighx...=( I'll see when i'm available bahx...
Mebbe i shouldn't call teddy when he's workin le...he isn't really happy bout it i suppose...sobx...say mi make him waste his 20cents...piangx...So long never reply,how i know he busy or wot...Before dat he say can call de lorx...i really dunno ma...sighx...and who's dat bitch who made him fed up today!!!Idiotic...!!!Hainx...dear must take care of yaself...dun overwork...rest more k? And....PLEASE stop sighin? You promised me something, doubt you will forget bout dat rite?
Guess that'll be all for today....tata~* gdnitex...
some hearts are meant to be broken;;
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