;i keep up with a fake smile.Do you ever notice?



I FAKE A SMILE ALL THIS WHILE

DID YOU EVER REALISE?

It's me.So what?
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*Rena Heng
*aka Tiny,Nana
*17*
*30/5/89*
*TP,Hospitality and Tourism*
*PRSS,QNPS*

Her world revolves around...
*her friends
*family
*you
*her lovelies =3
*clubs
*drinking
*shopping
*bitching
*freedom

BEWARE,SHE SNAPS
I'm not who you think i really am. Don't like reading wat's here? Buzz off. =)
DO NOT JUDGE ME,period.

HER WANTS
*New navel stud*
*plain bikini*
*Waist belt*
*A pair of flats*
*Grey/white off shoulder*
*tan*
*Vintage dress*
*New phone*


THE ONES

Abigail
Adler
Arjuna
Audrina
Alpharian
Alvin
Boon Ern
Daphne
Daryl
Dixon
de-bonbons
Eugene
Genevieve
Hailing
Hakim
Hidayu
Hisa
Idy
Jacquelin
Jeslyn
Jingxuan
Justin
Jie Hui
Karen
Kok Sheng
Letitia
Pauline
Quan Zhang
Qiao
Royston
Stephanie
Shihan
Siok Wen
Sihan
Wei Li
Wei Jie
Weslie
Xiuqing
Yi ting
Yiwen
Yu Heng
Zhiyi
Zhu Xiaoming
Ziying
CUT THE CRAP

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TUCKED AWAY

Monday, January 31, 2005

10:10 PM

sigh~I really dunno if i should feel pissed or what lo...Sighx...makin me repeat wot happened over and over again won't make mi feel better.So...i shall not type the content here...Jus kinda felt upset with teddy lah...told steph and zhiyi wot happened...Well, i really didn't know how i should react and how i should feel bout this whole thingy. Only girls will understand how girls feel...haha..Teddy went to watch hotel Rwanda with Caseline, someone he got to know at work...sobx...i wanna watch it too...i'd better drop the idea anyway.At first, i really didn't feeling like initiating to meet up, but i felt that some things must be talked thru... Sighx...Rena Rena...what's with you...you can tell this whole lotta crap to your friends but it just seems so hard to get it thru to teddy. Why don't you jus tell him how you feel? Mebbe things would work out to be better? Or mebbe things won't turn out pleasant, but at least you got to tell him wat ya need to.

Bah...talked it thru a lil...well...today's bitch fit didn't make me lose my cool in front of him. After so much of hinting, i doubt he knows what i'm trying to get at...Cos most of the time he was concentrating on finding the stuffs he need at challenger and sportslink. Mebbe it was because my hints were too vague for him to understand me? I don't know. Knew he was tired...kept yawning when we went to the park...

I'm tired too...tired of this whole world that is revolving...tired of having to make promises that i may not be able to fulfill, tired of havin him to keep promises that he may not fulfill...tired of having to slog my heads out everyday without him saying a simple,"Rest more"...tired of having sleepless nights...tired of having to put up a strong front in front of everybody and tell them that i'm fine...and that i can cope...I'm tired of being myself...I don't wanna be the way i am now...Sigh...

I don't wanna talk about this anymore...Teddy...take care of yourself at work oki? Muackx.

Tata~*...

some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Friday, January 28, 2005

11:50 PM

Bad freakin day. Tolerated enough nonsense from the sec 2s and 3s. Some of them don't even have the courtesy to tell me they wouldn't be able to make it for the meeting. Made me sit in the council room,waited for 1 over hr like an idiotic fool of some sort.Some told me they didn't know there was a meeting. WTH! I posted the notice on the board 2 wks ago. I was in a rage. Was kinda guilty dat i vented my anger on some of the sec 4s today...sorry guys...didn't mean to...I'm totally off the way i am these few days. If you were in school, you'll know...Decided to give them another chance to make it up on next Monday, 4pm in the council room. If they blow it, that's it.They'll know how i'll deal with them. I don't have all the time in this f&*#in world for them.

Attended the Northeast CDC dinner held at Shangri-la Hotel at 6.45pm today with Hidayu. Was so awkward at first when we arrived. So many adults...It was a grand function...with all the food served and stuff...Talk was kinda inspiring in some ways...A good experience i would say...

Well, guess my mood these few days weren't very pleasant. Was real touched when some of my friends actually msged/called mie to ask if i was feeling ok,and advised me to rest more. Thanks for your concern and your support for all this while peepx! I really needed that.

Teddy didn't feel like tokin to me much today...Guess he's tired...Sorry dear, it wasn't on purpose that i forgot to msg ya in the morning today, and i was really occupied the whole time today. Didn't seem eager to tell me what he was up to at work today...Normally he would, but today, i had to find it out from his blog...Hope he's able to interact well with the few ppl he got to know at work...Hope he wouldn't forget me either,it's been quite long since we last met...He hasn't got the time to find out what i was up to as well...sighx...take care dear...miss ya loads.

Guess tat's all for the day...Need sleep. tata~
-->low -.-

some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Thursday, January 27, 2005

9:52 PM

I'm achin all ova...
slight gastric...
didn't sleep well last nite...
Becoming a walkin zombie...
In short- Bad day...

--tata..~*

some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Wednesday, January 26, 2005

10:24 PM

It's been ages since i last blogged. Com has been down for quite some time now...Thank goodness it's workin now...hopefully wun cause mi animore probs from now on...Waah~ stress man...so much stuff to do...Chinese new year's up next! STill gotta prepare for the assembly presentation for our Social enterprise project, gotta study for tons and tons of tests next week and the week after...Common tests are lined up for us day after day. Pengx...how to survive...and guess what? It's only the beginning of the year. WtH.

Had a bad headache from the afternoon till now...Dunno what's happenin manx...Guess i gotta go~ late le...long day tmr...

Mish mua dear...he's at work...must take care k?...


-Tata~* (half dead -.-)

some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Sunday, January 16, 2005

1:52 PM

Damn!~der's sumthing wrong wif mua internet connection at home...At dear's house using com now...Hmmx,sumting wrong wif the host! AaArGh~~!* Connection's down at the wrong time!Dun think will b able to update blog often this week...Bloody!!Waah!!~* sobx...

Newae, since sho long nver update le,lemme recall what av i been up to these few days. Well, on Thursday, had our SYF competition selection during co practise...Waah..so scary siax...Tension...Disappointment...Blah blah Blah..~Well, dunno if i'll be in SYF this year aniwae..Got Os...den Miss DLL oni choose the two sec fours who haven been selected for the competition two years ago...Well...heard that there'll be another selection this coming week..we'll see!

Hmmx...Friday..had PE...Dear waited for 45 mins...sorry...Miss Lim tok tok tok den over shot...He wasn't dat happy...But everything was well soon after..=P. Nothin much other den that...

Saturday...went out for movie wif dear at PS. Waah...sho qiao..met Stace and Lester at Times bookshop...freaky! they were sitting right beside us during the movie...Watched "Shall we dance" N!ce show~ suddenly had the urge to take up dancin...not ballroom dancin of course... Dunno...we'll see after exams...will consider continuin piano, guzheng or do sumting refreshin like takin up dance. Blah...still sho long before exams...Blah...see how larx..

Jia latt!!Our competition is on the 20th!! Waah!!!!gotta do last min preparations these few days le...still got sho much hmk and tests to study fer...waah...how neh??? Low*

Tata..will update when connection is up again!!!^.^

some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Monday, January 10, 2005

9:10 PM

coUgH~CouGh~!~hmmx. Mua cough still as bad as eva.Fever has gone down...Flu still makin mi irritated as eva.

Well,my routine since yesterday:
Wake up at 8am,wash up,eat breakfast,take medication,sleep till 2pm,have lunch,take medication,do a lil hmk,take dinner,take medication,sleep...

Yea...that's all...While others are hard at work in school,i'm at home sleeping away...No,that's not true...have been worried bout the competition lately...the entrepreneur thingy.Damn...gotta do it during assembly next Monday...we're not even prepared.Hainx.

Bloody hell. dunno how to use com dun touch it la!Give mi so much trouble...Dun even know how to be considerate to others. I sick till no voice liaox how u wan mi to ring up the customer service to seek help?! U no brains ah?! Dun even know how to call isit?! Have 2 children liaox still dunno how to make a simple call?! Always rely on me to do all these rubbish for you,think i have all the time in the world for you isit?! Fuck. You ruined my freakin day!

^pissed^

some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Saturday, January 08, 2005

9:03 PM

Damn!~*sick at the wrong time...fever reached 38.3 degrees yesterday when i went to dear's house after school. Climbed to 38.9 degrees in the morning,got a terrible cough(kept coughin till mua whole head turn red lex),flu...Gosh! No outin fer mi today wif dear lex...haix.One day wasted.Hao bu rong yi lai dao weekends... My body bu zheng qi...always make mi fall sick at the wrong time...

Thinkin if i should take MC fer Monday and Tuesday...Can't lehx..gotta do up the competition stuff on Monday...Gotta go Ngee Ann Poly on Tuesday...Gotta do up agenda for Mass meeting.Shit!Wot should i do? Got lotsa proficiency tests next week too.Piles of work waitin fer mie to complete. Dammit!Aargh!!Sumbody tell mie wot to do?I feel as if i'm choking. Yesh,really chokin. I can't breathe nemore.And guess what? It's only the beginning of the year.Guess i've overworked or sumting. Stress ka pengx. Didn't manage to sleep well the past few days...

Left at home alone the whole day. Parents at work,aunt and work,uncle at work. Fuck. Felt like nobody cared even though i was sick. I know mua parents were busy,would take mie to da doc tmr though. Decide tmr if i should go to school fer half a day on Mon jus to take mua phy test and pass all impt doc to Miss Wong before i sign out during recess...

Dear was out with friends.Went to get his pay in the mornin. Hope he had fun...Was sorry that i couldn't meet up with him.Been longing to be able to meet up with him dis weekend. Only got bout one week left before he goes to work, i guess. Not much time to meet up anymore. Worse when he gets to poly and when i'm havin mua Os. Sighx. Wonder wat would become of us when dat time cums...would more quarrels surface?would our relationship stay da same?i don't know...I don't wish to think bout it. Blah! What the hell am i talking about!? Guess the fever has caused some damage to mua brain causin mi not to be able to think properly.Hope it would subside by tmr...~

Sorry dear...i didn't mean to hang up the fone on you jus now...Not in a good mood today...Didn't wanna vent mua anger on you...Dunno wot's happenin to mi...Shao huai le nao dai i suppose. ^heck^=(

-->Breakin down soon<--tata~

some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Monday, January 03, 2005

9:43 PM

(bReAkdOwn)is the situation i'm in now...I'm jus like a machine...LoW bAtt...guess all of mua fellow sc are also feelin this way~~The first day of school! Wasn't as fun as i made it out to be in the first place...Reached school bout 6.30am...realised nobody was around when i reached the c. rm.Well,as expected...Kinda chaotic at first but after dat was oki~blah. ^heck^...Newae,first day is over~jus gotta make sure there would be fewer loopholes tmr~

Teddy,sowi...whole dae din msg ya,was busy lyk hellx todaex...Knew you were worried but no choice,everythin ended late...Guess it's late le...i'd beta get to slp or else tmr you'll see a panda walkin round wif a walkie talkie...

nItex!tmr would b a better dae? ^heck^ buaix peepx

some hearts are meant to be broken;;
Saturday, January 01, 2005

1:26 PM

HAPPY 2005!!!

Wow~one yr has passed sho quickly worx...My new year resolution? ermx...lemme think....
(1)Be able to concentrate more on mua studies nxt yr...Os leh...
(2)Teddy!!!Hope our relationship would take a step higher!! muackX!~*
(3)Time!!!i desperately need more time...Be able to manage my time properly bahx...
(4)Set aside more time for teddy~you not in sch le..less time to meet lex...will make time fer ya de kx?huGx.lurv ya!
(5)Peace to the world!!!V (not a resolution..but...mua wish...too much things have happened recently....)
(6)A fresh start in all...

Hmmx,went meet teddy for movie(National Treasure) after school service.Great show manx!First time i felt history was interesting...teehee! Used to hate history loads.Went to his house after that..stayed till bout 12+...new yr eve....Hmmx,no countdown and stuffs telecast on tv for this year cos of the tragedy...Sighx...seems like the world is coming to an end...one of the quietest new year i've eva spent all these years i must say...Well, hope that this comin year would take a turn for the better bah! Hmmx...

School's reopening soon...waah...sho fast! Everyone's still in the holiday mood. Great...i haven even finish mua hmk...^heck^.Should be able to finish by tonite...Tata~i'm off!!!Spending mua New year's day out!!!

some hearts are meant to be broken;;